Simplicity. ♥

2011-12-22T19:00:00.002+08:00

I don't want it to end like this.

Yeaaaaaaah so what now? You must have seen that text i sent you. So what does this mean? Not replying, does this mean you really don't want to be friends anymore? Fucking hell. I spent nearly 2hours composing that text. End up i didn't have the courage to send it. But i woke this morning thinking what the fuck, life is too short to leave things i want to say unsaid. So i sent it. And until now you still haven't reply.

什么意思吗.

You're being really mean and petty. Sigh. And idk what else i can do seriously. I don't know how to deal with people who're angry at me. But i'm trying.

I don't know what to do anymore.

2011-12-19T03:11:00.003+08:00

I don't know what the hell is going on.

I don't know why you're ignoring me. Do you find me annoying? Or what the fuck did i do wrong? I won't pretend i don't miss you. I do. I sent you texts. You won't reply. I called you. You hung up? What the hell do i do then? You're just leaving me hanging like this.

What exactly happened? I don't have any idea. What did i do? If you don't tell me, i won't know. I know, its useless just posting here. Cause you won't get to read this. But i guess i'm done trying. I even attempted to call you. And you hung up. Fine then. I wasn't the one who wanted this to happen.

Do you know how awful i felt while dialing for you? Weighing the chances of you picking up or hanging up. Turns out it was the latter. Okay.

I don't know anymore. I miss you. But of course, i won't tell you that. Goodluck for your results tomorrow. How i wish to ask about how you did tomorrow. But you won't reply, so what's the point. Seriously ah, i really want to know what went wrong.

2011-12-15T12:15:00.003+08:00

Hihi :D

I finally got a job! Yeah, idk how many times I've repeated that sentence, but this time its for real. SERIOUS! Hahaha, starting at 4PM later. Yay! But i'm nervous ): afraid of not doing well enough. LOL.

Well, one thing is for sure, i will enjoy my next 3 days of work. And hopefully the rest of the days working there too :P heehee. Yesterday, went for lunch with Russell after finding a job :D then went to walk about a little. Then i went to the library when his lunch break ended ):

So i went home, used the comp. Tumblr, twitter, facebook. Yeah, the norms. Then i read my book and listened to music~

Almost died when my dad used my comp and went to my fb profile and saw the photo. Zzzzz. God bless my quick wit and ability to handle emergencies. LOL. So my dad's not suspicious. I hope. Hahahahahaha!

Okay, i shall go try on clothes and decide what to wear at 2.30PM. 1 hour should be enough yeah!

Oh yeah, my job is at causeway. Working at a boutique on the second storey! Pay isn't much, but i'm working full time. Should be enough to make up for the low pay :) besides, its at causeway! No complaints.

Sian, can't meet Russell for lunch later. Zzzzzzzzz. ): oh well. At least we're going home together! Hope nothing comes up to spoil it again. Eeek.

Alright, the only reason i woke up so early is because i'm hungry. Damn, its starting to hurt. Should go eat something now. Ending here!

Bye!

2011-12-14T02:45:00.000+08:00

Been awhile since i posted here.

I'm jobless again -.- currently looking for jobs. Then there's the dad problem. Sigh. How i wish i could remain in the O level period. Then they would at least stay away, give me a lil personal space and stop kpkb-ing :/

Well, i'm gonna go to causeway tomorrow to ask for jobs :x will be going alone. But afterwards gonna have lunch with someone! Yayyyy :)

Yesterday was really enjoyable :) heehee. It feels as though I've known him forever. It just feels so... right :D okay, gonna go sleep now. Heh.

Goodnight~

2011-12-06T19:55:00.000+08:00

Cherish every moment, because time is like a river. Once it flows past, you will never be able to touch that part of the water again.

Been a few days since i last posted! Have been going out everyday. Should stop doing that, should stop eating outside and eat at home. Zzz, dad went shopping and bought a truckload worth of food. I reckon its enough to last us for an entire war or something. Tsk.

Anyway, i got a job! Finally. It doesn't pay much, but at least its near, and i get to try what i've always wanted to try. Being a waitress ^^ i know it isn't all fun and games, so lets hope for the best. Persevere veena ang!

Okay! Lets talk about some events that has took place awhile ago :D for example, PSL camp! Went for PSL directly after 3 days of red camp. Hiong ah. 5 straight days of camp. LOL but it was awesome. Totally fun!

We only managed to go for the 2nd day of camp as our last day of red camp coincides with the first day of PSL camp. As soon as we reached we spotted a camera and posed immediately. LOL. VAIN BITCHES. HAHAHAH.

My previous comment stands true. Here, another photo we took with someone else's camera. LOL

Yeah that's me. First person to get drenched for the water games. The only person to get a tub of water dumped over her TWICE, as if being the first wasn't bad enough. LOL. Can only be described in one word: SUAY.

Oh and, i went and had my hair cut on.. Friday? Saturday? Okay i think its friday. LOL. Had it cut short. -snap- and there went my long hair :x my hair is now slightly below shoulder length. Straight cut. Which makes me look older and more serious i think. HAHA. Feels weird, after years of having long hair... Not used to it yet, but i'm sure i can get used to it soon. Hahahhahaha.

Oh yeah, my birthday is coming soooooon! :) heehee. Wonderful idea suggested by my baobao, i'm going to the zooooooooo on my birthday! :D it has been around a decade since i last went anyway. Would be nice to go after all this time. Just hope that it wouldn't rain. Otherwise i'll cry ): okay okay, so i should prepare a wet weather plan. Hmmmmm, if it rains, where should i go? Ack, idk ah.

Also, i'm starting work after my birthday! HAHAH. The only problem i have with this job is that, i have to buy the shirt. And, its $7. HmmmmMmmmmMmmm :/

Alright, don't feel like posting anymore.

Byebye!

2011-12-02T04:20:00.000+08:00

Hey, 450th post :)

I actually have a saved post i typed halfway the other day for my 450th post regarding my 5 straight days of camp, and a major life turning event, but i shall not talk about that first. Leave that for tomorrow or someday perhaps. LOL. Been quite awhile since i posted eh, its already December!

Hello gorgeous december! Be nice to me! Also, this means my birthday is coming soooooon! Damn, i'm finally gonna be 16 :D HAHAH.

Firstly, gonna go job hunting next week :D though manhattan's manager already said can take me in, well its no harm looking at better paying jobs ah! :x

Nowadays my body clock is fucking screwed. Been sleeping at 4am and waking at 1pm recently. Damnnn. Also, the combined effects of the camps and the trip back to malaysia has altogether made me gained 1kg. Gah. I was devastated.

Alright, i shall stop here. People waiting for me to reply them. Looks like i'm not the only night owl here. HAHA

Night!

2011-11-20T18:15:00.003+08:00

Prom night is over! ):

Yeah, the night of our lives. Heehee. It was absolutely crazy. Going crazy towards the end. Hahahaha, how i wish i could replay that night. There simply wasn't enough time! :/ eeek. Finally took a photo with some guys I've been dying to take photos with :3 heh.

Miss the part where we all went crazy screaming for the performers. All the dances were awesome! Especially sorry sorry performed by ziwei, jasper, victor, duanfeng, weiming, fido, nabil (LOL), yize, and who else i can't remember. But the performance was really really shuai! HAHAH. Then there was Bang by 4F. Frigging hot. The couple dance also! Hahahahaha, it was a crazy night.

Afterwards was the dancing part. Literally kicked off our heels and went crazy. My owl lost its body due to me jumping around -_- zzz. Though the smoke (?) was kinda irritating, it sort of served to make the atmosphere even more high. Cause everybody was just jumping about without actually seeing what's in front of them, resulting in everybody knocking into everybody. LOL. Ahh well, it was fun. HAHAHA.

Only reached home at 12 plus that night. I'm a sad girl because i had to go out the next day again, and i only had 6 hours to sleep. Zzzzz. Poor me ): only have 6 hours of sleep like everyday. But today, i finally had my full 8 hours of sleep :D rather shiok! Heehee.

Still stupid though, because i'm still sleeping late. Which means i'm still cultivating my dark eye circles. LOL. Slept at 4AM again. Zzzzz.

Its been awhile since something like this has happened to me. Not really sure how to feel or what to do :/ nvm, shall just go with the flow eh? The road will automatically be straight when the boat reaches the dock! LOL direct translate from 船到桥头自然直。ROFL.

My nails still look fab though. 我舍不得把它擦掉 ):

Anyway, going out with daddy and sist to thompson plaza (?) cause there

s a second hand book fair there :D heh heh. Will be having pizza hut later too. Heehee, shiok ah!

Andddddd, will be going out tomorrow. Gotta wake up at like, 9.30AM. ARGH. I will try to sleep early. But if i eat at 8, then i can only sleep at like... 2AM. Hmm, 7 hours of sleep should be enough. HAHA.

Alright, shall end my post here.

2011-11-16T01:31:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday mummy!

Its after 12AM already; its my mama's birthday! Hmmmm, plan on making a card for her, but i left my card making materials with val. LOL. Shall do them tomorrow. Meanwhile, shall do a draft for the contents of my card! Bought some real pretty paper at ion earlier today. Okay, wrong. Its yesterday, since its the 16th already. HAHA.

O levels are over. Can't believe it. Okay, believable. LOL but it feels so... Weird? Well, maybe not. Considering that I've been spending every single day after Os outside, still being kept busy. So I'm not really feeling the emptiness of having nothing to do. Yet. HAHAH. Next month onwards however, there will be a sharp decline in my schedule. Ahhhhh, gonna be bored. Worse still, gonna have to start doing house chores again :x ack.

Anywayyyyy. Bought coloured contacts for prom. LOL. Like finally, I learnt to wear a pair of contacts after so long. Never felt the need before, but now that I know how, I'm addicted. The same way I'm addicted to playing pool. ROFL. Pool is so god damn fucking fun okay. Heehee. Good thing that someone's gonna bring me out to play soon. As soon as i have a day free. HAHA i sound so busy mannnnnnn!

Today. Okay, wrong. Yesterday, went shopping yet again. But this time not only with val but also with adeline and jingyi and also the bimbos! HAHA. A really fun day. Hanging out with them is reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy enjoyable.

Ate quite a lot today! Starting to eat more, that's a good thing right? Haha, ~~people~~val has been telling me that i look anorexic-thin. PI GU LAH. Where got so thin! I'm still fat. Eeek. My parents have been forcing me to eat too. Wth. Fucking pekchek. But ahh well, shouldn't really talk about such ~~sensitive~~stupid issues here. HAHAHAHA.

Okay, so today! Went to Plaza Sing first and I shared with JY takoyaki and tiramisu. Like a shiok only, superrrrrrrrr delicious!!! Then we continued shopping and etc. After a failed attempt to locate koi (stupid, because there isn't even an outlet in orchard, LOL), we found a ~~weird~~ unknown bubble tea shop in far east plaza called "Ding Cha". None of us tried before and we bantered for awhile, trying to convince someone to be the lab rat and go buy one and try. LOL. In the end 4 of us went to buy milk tea. It was pretty good surprisingly. Or maybe it has got to do with the fact that I haven't drank bubble tea in about a month or longer ):

Was feeling hungry at that time and under temptation, shared a umm, set? $4.20. B.F.F set. Forgot what it stood for but in simplified terms, we bought fried fish with some fries. LOL. The board stated 10pieces of fish, which was why we bought it cause it sounded so wu hua. HAHAH. In the end, there were 10 pieces, but 2 pieces were especially small ._. BUT we ended up feeling very stuffed. For me it was probably because i was drinking bubble milk tea at the same time. LOL

AND it was really delicious! The fish was super soft and piping hot, and the outside was crunchy. They gave a container of chili and mayonnaise sauce. Super nice ah! Gonna have it again the next time i go there :D heehee.

Oh yeah, i spent about $91 for my prom stuff already ): stupid siah. There was this pair of heels i really really REALLY liked. But don't have my size. Fuck siah. It was a real bargain too, $15 only! Ended up val and adeline both bought heels under this offer and i ended up buying $32 heels. Like more than double. GAH. Ah well. At least mine goes well with jeans. AHAHA.

One more issue to worry over. My prom dress is god damn plain :/ so i gotta find accessories to make up for the lack of... Complexity. Eek. So i still have to get a necklace, a ring, nail polish. AHH. Money fly fly ): not to mention gotta go to the salon on the day itself, plus taxi fare. OMG. Wtf man.

Ahh. Just realised I haven't drank water for the entire day. LOL. Hmmmmm. This is a really long post. Ah well, haven't posted in ages. Besides, i need an outlet. I need to at least "talk". HAHA.

Oh ya. Random much, but i saw this post on facebook about this guy being jealous when he sees couples on the MRT and such. HAHAH. Wanted to like it, but then i realised i don't feel that way, so why should i like it? So i didn't like it. LOL.

Okay, suddenly feeling stupid. Am i an idiot for posting about my thoughts and feelings like this? Its actually rather stupid, it makes you vulnerable. Really. Sharing your thoughts online like this, where everyone has access to the internet, it is kind of like exposing yourself to potential psychological harm. ROFL. But then again, who reads my blog anyway? Hahahaha, thats why i find it okay to use it as my, hmmmmm, sort of diary!

On the other hand, adeline asked if i wanted to work for her aunt together with her. Office work. The pay sounded pretty good, but its such a pity. Our schedule for november is just too packed :/ LOL. Ahh well, my mum said she'd keep an eye out for vacancies in her company for part time workers. Guess i'm satisfied! Nevermind the fact that my dad doesn't want me to work. LOL I'll convince him when the time comes.

Okay, suddenly i'm feeling stupid for talking to myself like this. Shall stop here. Going out again tomorrow~ Busy busy day.

I feel like a busygirl95! Hahahahhahahhaha. WAH. I didn't realised that its 1.30AM already. Zzzz, so late already. Gotta wake up at like, at least 8.30AM tomorrow. Ahhhhhhhh ): i haven't gotten a long long sleep since a long time. Even though Os are over ._. Wth.

Alright, time to go! Shall go apply something for my dark eye circles then go sleep. LOL

Goodnight~

2011-11-13T02:50:00.000+08:00

One last hurdle.

I'm tired but feel like posting something before i sleep, so lets look at a summary of my previous days spent. Been pretty busy. Hmmmm.

Tuesday, 8/11/11, last day of tuition, if i didn't remember wrongly. Saddened ): left for causeway with val afterwards. Mum and aunt were at ajisen so we went to find them for awhile. Ended up eating alot of things cause they kept pushing to me D: FAT DIE.

Wednesday, 9/11/11, i cannot remember what i did on this day. LOL.

Thursday, 10/11/11, went shopping with val! Went to town and shopped right from 12 noon to 8 at night! Shiok ah. Bought my prom dress :D next shopping trip is on tuesday, after our last paper. It will be with adeline and the bimbos. HA.

Friday, 11/11/11, i spent the first half of the day with val at the hair salon and eating. Then i spent the next half of the day alone, at the library. Pretty enjoyable. HAHA. Not to be cliche or anything, but on this day i finally got to know someone new. Hmmmmm. LOL.

Saturday, 12/11/11, i spent the ~~morning~~afternoon (only woke at around 11 i think, HA) nuaing at home, munching on bread and snacks and reading manga ._. went out at about 4 plus, went to grandma's house. Then went to play pool for the first time. Lost gloriously, but still really enjoyable, most probably it largely has got to do with the really hot guy who was playing snooker at the table in front of mine. (Wahahahahha :3) i know its rude to stare, but he was staring back too, so its mutual. LOL. Rushed for the last train, now, that was fun. Heehee! Then finally reached home around 1AM.

So after bathing i came online.. Dk why i'm being stupid and posting here when i should be sleeping. Gotta wake up at like, 10AM tomorrow ): gah. Should sleep now.

Goodnight :D

Yeah you're right, i should learn to trust again.

2011-10-28T21:11:00.002+08:00

Its over!

Yeah, the long awaited paper is finally over and done with! The paper that I've worked so hard for... MATH. Byebye. LOL

Bad news is? I haven't really studied for SS and literature. GG shit. Dieeeeeeeeeeeee. God knows how bad i am at memorizing stuff ):

想跟你说话，但又不想给你希望，免得你受到的伤害更大。对不起，因为我也不知道我到底想要的是什么。

Byebye :)

2011-10-23T19:02:00.002+08:00

Horrible horrible horrible.

I don't know anymore. Life is so screwed up. Sigh. Not even sure what i'm doing here when tomorrow's the english paper. I just feel so fucking fucked up right now. And nothing can make me feel better. I feel like just ending everything right here right now.

2011-10-18T22:10:00.001+08:00

Been awhileeeeeeeeeeeee since i posted here! :3

It has been about a week? Plus plus lah. Hahahah, been studying like mad! :D i'm such a goodgirl. Heeheehee!

But then, each day is passing so fast that i can't really catch my breath :/ so yesterday, was it yesterday? Yeah i think its yesterday. I saw Calvin Lee at admiralty MRT! Haha, it was such a shock lor. So looooong never see him already! Waved :) oh and i had tuition all the way from 6pm to 10pm! Papa came to fetch me, yayyyyy! :) 4 hours of tuition sure was enjoyable, 4 hours of pleasure for my eye. GAH, sounds so dirty. HAHAHAHAH. But, but! His eyes are really niceeeee! :D

Okay, so had tuition this morning from 9AM-1PM. Think it was probably the lack of sleep and etc, but i had a major moodswing towards the end ): feel so bad about it. LOL. Though idk who noticed. Slept at around 1AM or something yesterday. This is bad, its becoming a habit for me to sleep around that time! So recently, been going out nearly everyday. Mad tired ahhhh! Oh yeah so after tuition today went to wendy's and camped there all the way until nearly 7PM. It was so god damn fucking cold there even though i was wearing my hoodie! Zzzz! So cold that i couldn;t feel my fingers and toes ): it was hard to write properly. Got chased out by the black-faced employee towards the end. Ironic, "black-faced". HAHAHA i'm so racist man!

Saw mr goh at old northpoint building! He went there to watch a movie. Hahaha, so while waiting he came to teach us math and write testimonials. LOL. After his movie he came to help us some more because he was waiting for Ms linxiaoying for dinner! So glad we 那么有缘分! Heehee.

Anyway met junkai at wendy's too today. Irritating guy leh. I hope you see this!! Go pinch my cheeks with your smelly hands. Draw on my paper somemore. GO AND DIE. LOL. Irritating boy. Tsktsk! Anyway ah, your hair damn cui, time for a haircut lah! Hahahaha, and try some other colour lah, this colour is ugly. LOL.

Was listening to XFM96.3 for kpop. Fuck lah, just finished ): nvm, now playing piano pieces from "stairway to heaven"! Ahhhhh, so shiok :D

Oh yeahhh. Just now, a friend was telling me about her guy. Hahahaha, i grinned so much my cheeks hurt so much! So happy for her, they're so sweet and cute together. But deep down, i couldn't help having feelings of.. Dread and sadness. Cause love doesn't last. But in their case, i really hope it does. Hahahahaha!

Okay, shall go studyyyyy.

Byebye! :)

2011-10-09T21:00:00.002+08:00

我毕业了!!!

Wts, can hardly believe that sentence. It feels so surreal. Feels like yesterday when i entered Chung Cheng with my over-knee-length-skirt and made my first friends in 1H'08! Sigh :/

Been a long long time since i posted here. Hahahaha, time flies. I'm already a graduate. Omg, what a scary term ): although i haven't taken my Os yet, but i've already graduated from chung cheng. Cheng cheng, my second home... D:

Sad sad. Okay, so today went out with my dear. Then so coincidentally, Fion and Xuefen were there too! Chatted and camwhored. Heehee. Quite a happy day!

Okay, shall get back to my revision.

ZAIJIAN.

2011-09-28T20:35:00.002+08:00

FINALLY.

Feels like ages since i used the comp though i know i just used it recently. LOL. Anyway, i didn't realised there were actually that many people reading my blog until today. Hmm :/ feeling kinda shy now. HAHAH. Kk, so dear readers, say hi to me next time! ROFL.

So sian though, tomorrow my val wants to pangseh me again -.- LOL. Nevermind, i shall go bathe now then go do revision.

BYEEEE! (:

2011-09-23T17:33:00.001+08:00

Its my 440th post!!!

So i spent my day studying and sleeping and then studying. Hahaha, came online to check out answers for POA. But i can't find it! -.- and to think there's physics pract tomorrow morning followed by eng remedial. Sigh x infinite!

Gotta admit, after staying home the entire day, I'm on the verge of going crazy already! Anyway, sidetracking, I think that i am a real funny sight right now. Cause the space on my table is taken up by POA stuff and the gigantic textbook, i resorted to putting my laptop on my dustbin and sitting on the floor to use it. Meanwhile, the school tie around my neck as I'm typing this. Ain't it a funny sight?

My dustbin is very clean, so no worries. LOL. As for the reason why I'm wearing the school tie even though i'm in home clothes and have absolutely no reason to wear it is simple. I am bored. LOL. And i kind of miss wearing the school tie, feels like ages since i last wore it in school! ): besides, the last person i lent it to took it apart and i couldn't remember how to tie a tie, so i left it hanging behind my door. Hahaha, and being bored out of my mind, i took it and attempted to tie it. By the way, i succeeded :) HEH HEH HEH. CALL ME A GENIUS!!!

All is well, except that i am still very bored and I've been feeling so alone :/ i hate this. These moments when you have all the time and space to yourself and you start to think and everything would appear so clear cut to you; no looking through coloured glass, no one to influence or manipulate your thoughts. And it is times like this that i realise with a jolt, that humans were alone when they were born, and will remain so until they die. I envy some people. They think they're alone, they pity themselves, they think that nobody cares about them. But in actual fact, there are people who do care about them and are always making the first move to show their concern. They just choose to ignore those who care about them and instead yearn for those who do not care. I envy them, because after so much thinking, i realised that i am after all, still alone. I'll never be chosen over someone by anyone. I'll never be anybody's first choice. Why? Because i'm never good enough.

Emo paragraph! HAHAH. Okay, so because its the first time since... that i put an untied tie around my neck, i suddenly recall the last time it happened. It was when he was trying to teach me how to tie a tie! We were at mac, we skipped first period to eat breakfast together. Hahahaha, we even got punished together afterwards. At that time, i thought that my life was perfect. LMAO man. Ahhhh, sillygirl95.

Hao lah. Enough self pitying. 一个人就一个人! 又不会死! Kkkkkkk, i shall go continue doing POA. Sigh no answers how siah. Tsktsk.

BYEBYE (:

2011-09-23T10:10:00.001+08:00

Didn't go to school today.

Hahahah, alright.

Bye!

2011-09-22T23:15:00.002+08:00

Oh my godddddd.

Been so long since i last came online to post something here! Its late, and i'm exhausted. But my hair is still wet. Sighhhh. Shall wait awhile more. Been sleeping late like everyday. Tired like a panda. Okay, weird example. LOL

The days are flying by, 真的好怕啊. Afraid that in the blink of an eye it'd be the O levels already and i'm still not fucking prepared yet! I did terribly for the mock emath paper 2. If it were O levels.. God, i don't want think about it. At least my SS is quite good. Had lit mock paper today. St joseph paper. Fucking tough. Sat there and read and read and read and still no inspiration in the end just crapped a little and went to sleep -__-

Don't wish to discuss how i feel here. Hahahah, okay, i shall end it here.

Goodbye!

2011-09-15T18:04:00.004+08:00

Had the last session of motivational workshop today!

6 weeks left. Soooo motivated. Gonna go study after this post. LOL

Just realised how I've matured. Not in the I-read-newspapers-every-morning kind of mature, but the way i think. HAHAH. After all that I've been through, the way I think has really changed (: much more matured now that i compare it to the past.. LOL

So I was just talking with Vanessa about my past relationships, and realised how much of an immature bitch I was. HAHAH. My second ex, he was really sweet to me. Just took out the tin of hearts he gave me and counted it for the first time. Fucking 150 strawhearts! Like wts, so... :x yet i dumped him because i felt tied down and restrained. Wts, so bitchy siah ): such an immatured and selfish girl!

Well, I'm kinda glad I experienced heartbreak, cause it taught me life lessons and i matured :D guess i understand now why he cried, why he begged for another chance. I totally understand now ._. LOL.

So that is why experience makes one grow more mature! HAHAH. Alright, gonna go do english hw (at this critical moment still got hw... when will i have the time to study other subjects? T.T) and do some math!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kkkkk, shall go off now!

Bye! (:

2011-09-14T22:09:00.002+08:00

I cannot feel anything anymore. O:

Busy busy lifeeeee! ):

So I've been really busy lately! Lets take a quick look at how my past few days were spent...

Mon: School until 2.45PM. Dinch (Dinner+lunch) date with my baobao after school! <3

Tues: School until 3.30PM. Moved to outside art room to do emath. Went to buy bbt and moved to sec 1 classrooms for night study. Reached home at like 9.30PM ):

Wed: School until 2PM! :D went for lunch at SSC astons! :D (never eat in the morning, almost died!) Went for tuition, reached home around 8PM ++!

Tiredddd man! Recently only sleep for 5 hours per day. I think i need to stock up on coffee already. Can sense more lack of sleep coming up. LOL.

And i am soooooo irritated by english now. I hate english man. English sucks. So damn leychey. I hate doing summary. Looking at it gives me a fucking headache -_____- SIGH.

Kkkkk, shall go and do english hw now -.- zzzzzz!

Bye! (:

2011-09-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

I suck ):

Really. Sigh. I just have no idea how to comfort people when they are sad. I don't know how to appease people when they're angry either. Yikes :/

Okay, so i didn't have the time to post photos. Apparently. HAHAH. Lazy to do so anyway. LOL. I have no idea what i am doing, why am i not sleeping at this time?! Crazy stupid girl. Tomorrow confirm have tiny swollen panda eyes. Ahhhhh so ugly ):

So there's this cute guy who got my number and texted me. Mannnnn, so excitedddd! HAHAH :P he's cute. He sends multiple texts at one time, like msn liddat ._. LOL funny conversation.

Anyway, someone asked if i still liked my ex. Such a simple question, yet i was stumped by it. I gave a swift reply "No", but actually i don't have the slightest idea. Do i still love him? I guess not. I don't know. I have gotten so used to putting him at the back of my mind, but i don't know exactly if i have moved on or not. Nevermind, let time do its thing and heal everything! HAHAH.

Alright, i should go put on my shoelace and get ready for bed. Mannnnn i am soooo not ready for school! Can hardly believe there's school tomorrow -__- i am totally still in holiday mood. Damn. I didn't do english hmwk, and idk what lessons there are tomorrow. LOL so dead.

Kk, time for bed!

Nightynight! (:

2011-09-11T04:28:00.001+08:00

I'm backkkkkkk!

Back from malaysia :D been almost a week since i posted here! I think its incredible how i spent 3 whole days without internet. 4 actually. Since the day before i had tuition BBQ outing and only reached home after midnight ._. LOL

Turned my phone off offline mode when i reached singapore customs and put it on my lap and waited for it to vibrate. LOL. By the time it finished vibrating, i had 11 texts. The texts made me smile (: heehee. Glad to know i have such awesome friends! Love them all to bits <3

Alright, shall post some photos here tomorrow! Well, i will do that when i have the time. LOL

Kkkkk, i really need to sleep now -_-

Goodnight! :D

2011-09-05T11:19:00.003+08:00

Good morninggggg!

Been ages since i used the comp! Okay, just two days. Cause i spent the last two days being a total glue-to-the-tv-addict. LOL. Finished 1 season of super natural :3 currently watching the 4th season now. LIKEA AWESOME ONLY.

But ayeeee shit ._. people studying, i chionging drama. 'O' levels coming leh, what the hell am i doing? Urghhhh.

Anyway, slept at around 2 yesterday. Tireddddd man! Then received a text from loy asking me to wake him up at 6.30AM ._. LOL being the kind hearted soul i am, i set an alarm for 6.28AM. So i woke up, called him (he was already awake. Zzzz) and went back to sleep.

Except i didn't fall asleep immediately. I sent a good luck text to loy for his N levels. Then as i laid back and prepare to sleep i suddenly remembered that a dozen of my friends are taking their N levels too. LOL so i sent good luck texts to all of them. As i scrolled down my phonebook, i saw his name. I scrolled past extra quick. LOL. So after i ticked all those taking N levels, i paused and pondered. For a moment, i considered sending him the good luck text too. But then i thought "Why do i even bother? He doesn't deserve my concern anymore. He was the one who threw it away anyway." So i sent the text and went back to sleep (:

Which led to me waking up at 10AM to 7 texts. 1 of them was from regina with a shocking messge "Are you reaching school alr? :D" and I was there groggily trying to understand and it hit me that i got the remedial timing wrong -_- I thought it begins at 2PM so I shuang shuang sleep all the way. LOL. So since i woke up at exactly the same time it starts, I find no point in even preparing to go. HAHAH so here i am :P

Okayyyyyy, I will be bringing my sist out later to go shopping! Hell, its the first (or second, can't remmber LOL) time we're going out to shop together! Not surprising, seeing as she's 6 years younger than me and usually a huge pain in the ass. HAHAH hope that i'm in a good mood today, and she doesn't act like such a bitch as usual. That way we should be able to get along just fine~

Alright, ending here!

Bye! (:

2011-08-31T12:06:00.003+08:00

I am happy, right?

Recently not in the mood to share my thoughts. Oh well.

Shall wait a little while more until my bbt digests before going to sleep! Recently acquired a new texting partner. LOL. He's quite cute. HAHAH.

I screwed up my science MCQ -__- there was a change in the question. But i only saw the C option, never see the D option. In the end i wrote C when the answer was D. Like FUCKMYLIFE can. Zzzz! To think i spent the last 15mins sleeping. If i had checked.. D: awwww.

Slept at nearly 1AM yesterday. Tiredddd! So shall take a well deserved nap! :D heehee.

Oh yeah! This morning damn suay, don't know why during assembly my knee suddenly started to hurt after i kinda twisted it. LOL. Then when i walking back to class climbing stairs nearly fall down cause there was a sudden jolt of intense pain, so painful i had to grasp my knee. Eeeeek ):

Wah, buaytahan. This guy so bhb, so cute. LOL, been making me laugh out loud to myself the whole day already -_- zzzz, then got people stare at me. LOL

I am thinking. Thinking if i should eat or not. Cause the bbt still in my stomach ): and i weigh the same as i do when i just finished a meal. If i eat some more i will gain like 1KG -__- zzzz!

Okay whatever, shall end this post here!

Bye! (:

2011-08-28T12:31:00.001+08:00

Goooooood morning!

Should have posted in the morning. LOL woke at 10AM, but was eating and watching videos and texting and chatting on msn and etc. So kinda busy ah. HAHAH so drag until now then come and blog!

Lalala, had milktea last night during dinner. In the end i got high and couldn't sleep until 2AM. LOLOLOL. So funny, but the aftereffects not bad. I woke up feeling ridiculously happy. HAHAH

Yesterday was so damn fun :D

Okay, having tuition at 3PM! So i must go chiong tuition hw now :P

Byeeeeeee! (:

2011-08-27T15:53:00.002+08:00

Hello hello!

I'm at val's house right now. I just woke up, and she's still sleeping. LOL. Tuition's at 5PM. Think its about time i wake her up eh? HAHAH.

I feel so stupid -.- why do i always attract desperate guys? Why couldn't a normal (okay, maybe cute? LOL) guy approach me for once? ):

& i knew i should have taken my number off FB long ago, but kept forgetting to do it or was just plain lazy. Tsk, that's how creeps or despo guys get my number. AND TO THINK I CAN KEEP ON FORGETTING TO REMOVE IT. Just plain dumb lah ): finally just removed it. LOL

Okay, i shall end this post here~

Bye! (:

2011-08-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

Its amazing how at one point in our lives we will be extremely close with someone and then later they will become a complete stranger. You'll pass by them w/o a word. Without a single knowledging look. This person, who once knew you so well, who once knew your fears, your desires, your dreams, your past is now walking right past you, seeing right through you.

Took this from Vanessa's FB post!

Its like so trueee :/ kinda got a shiver when i read it over and over again. HAHAH.

Bathed after waking up then came to use lappy afterwards :3 woke up at around 7.45PM to like, 4 new texts. Was happy for awhile cause some guy randomly texted me. In the end is his friend send one -_- then now never reply. WTS LAH HOR.

Okay, from now on i shall post those posts on FB that i like here :3 HEEHEE!

Whenever I see you and him together,I just have the feeling that I wanna make him disappear from this world.

This was taken from stanley. LOL

I don't remember what it feels like being loved by one again, but what I was feeling is feeling hurt .

And this was taken from lynette!

Hahahahah, so funny. I keep having these weird abdominal pains, wondering if its menses, but too early lehhhh! Plus it feels like a long time since i felt menses cramps, can't really remember how it feels like. LOL. Scarly i have stomach cancer, was just talking about it with Audrey this morning. Omg, like scary only ):

Hi, remember me? You used to smile when you saw me, hug me for no reason, talk to me for no reason & love me for who I am. I miss that.

From twitter!

Okayyyyyy, so daddy isn't home yet, and because of that i haven't taken my dinner! Aiyoooo. Thinking of just going to sleep later again without eating already! Sunbian jianfei~ Woooo!

Okay, think i shall just end it here :D

Byeeee! (:

2011-08-24T22:13:00.002+08:00

OH SO TIRED.

Awwww. I ache all over ): tired tired. Only reached home at about 9PM just now. Hahahah, went to walk walk after tuition! Weeeee. Spotted alotttttt of clothes i wanna buy :3 heh!

Oh man, think tomorrow going out also. Ahh tired! Now i should go and do some math or read up on POA. Otherwise tomorrow gg already ): i don't feel like having examssss! D:

Okay, bye!

2011-08-24T12:27:00.002+08:00

Didn't go to school today~

Awesome. Only woke up at like 9.30AM :3 shiok shiok! Went to wash up and did one F&N paper. Now so tired ): LOL. Just took out POA papers to do, but.. Ahhhh sian ):

I am hungry! ): but i am dieting~ must. control. myself. Urghhhh. So fat now -___- shall only eat later when i go out!

Okay, shall go do POA. Hope i don't sidetrack :x HAHAH

Byeee! (:

2011-08-23T17:59:00.003+08:00

Today was a good start to a rather good day :3

1. Saw my kimbum as we were walking in the backgate >< -screamsinside-

2. Didn't see him at all today (Y)

Currently stalking my kimbum on FB while spazzing :x like oh my god. His eyes are seriously the best. Why sooo pretty? Everytime i see him i can hardly keep myself from smiling :/ HAHAHAH. AWWWWWWWWWW. Why you so cute?!

Okay, must calm down :3

But. Can't. Stop. Stalking. Him. HAHAH i keep looking at his photos! Mannnn, so cute siah!

Okay okay, shall go cook bathe and cook my noodles. Heehee! Will be back later~

2011-08-23T12:42:00.003+08:00

What was i to you?

Just a toy? Just for practice? Everything you told me, was there even a trace of sincerity in them? Bullshit. Everything you said was just a bunch of bullshit. But thanks to you, i know how to better protect myself now.

HAHAH. Honestly, guys can't be easily trusted :/ its bad bad.

I didn't realised until i was going home that i didn't see him today, not even once. HAHAH. How awesome :3 this is great. Hurry and forget him girl! There will be someone out there who will love you better :B heehee. I hope. LOL

Okay, gonna take a nap. WAHAHA. People still in school, i'm chilled like a boss at home.

Goodnap (:

2011-08-21T22:20:00.002+08:00

To those who are worried about me, I am fine! (:

I'm so sorry to those who worried for me, i am alright seriously. Nothing happened to me, and i won't die. HAHAH.

Okay, bye! (:

2011-08-21T19:49:00.003+08:00

One day, or even starting right now, I will speak of our memories fondly with a smile. Because what we had, even if it had ended, I'll never forget it. It was the kind of love that every girl dreamt of. I guess that's why I couldn't let you go, because you were all I ever wanted. But life isn't perfect, and people leave; you left. So I just gotta learn to deal with it, and move on. Because this is life.

Woke up at around 9AM! Quite early considering i slept at like 2AM yesterday :x HAHAH. Went to meet valval for lunch, then went to her house. Slept awhile at her house. LOL. Then went for tuition afterwards. Tuition was funnnn (: the guys damn cute! HAHAH.

Okay, nothing else to talk about already.

Bye! (:

2011-08-20T15:09:00.001+08:00

I take back my words.

Since you don't give a damn anymore, i should do the same too right? That way i won't be a stupid girl. HAHAH.

Bye! (:

2011-08-20T10:54:00.003+08:00

Confession #2 i secretly imagine that maybe, just maybe, you still love me, but only broke up with me because of some other reason.

Delusional ain't i? HAHAH.

'What am i supposed to do when i'm all choked up and you're okay?'

HAHAH recently i keet singing this song non stop, in school, while eating, while bathing, while outside with friends. Apparently they think i'm an embarrassment ): probably has something to do with the fact that i sing it in the opera version :B HEH.

I am feeling lazy today ): but i gotta wash the clothes and then do math. Then gotta bring sist down to TPY to pass to my mum. Woah i made her sound like an object. HAHAH. So i shall ask for KOI in return since i'm at TPY alr anyway :P huhuhu.

Having tuition at 5pm!

'I have learnt to live half alive,' nowadays i keep singing this song tooooo. HAHAH. 'Who do you think you are? Running around leaving scars'

'Dear it took so long, just to feel alright. Remember how to put back, the light in my eyes. I wish i had missed, the first time that we kissed, cause you broke all your promises'

I am officially a song guru. LOL. Singing is good :D

Okay, i shall go wash my clothes :/

BYEBYE!

Did you know that that night, when you said the dreaded words 'I need to tell you something, but don't be sad k?', I had already started crying. Are you dumb or dumb? How is it possible for me not to be sad? You of all people should know how important you are to me. Dumb idiot.

2011-08-20T00:47:00.003+08:00

Okay, i am feeling better now (:

Thanks to an idiot by the name of Loysius Koo. HAHAH. So show off, so nonsensical! Webcam show me his stupid face, then keep making weird noises. LOL. You unknowingly cheered me up.

Okay, so now i feel stupid saying all those i said before. Cause i feel stupid for caring when he doesn't anymore ): i wonder how he is doing.

Eyyyy, girl. You aren't supposed to think of him anymore! But i dreamt of him last night. It was a really stupidly vivid dream, which i almost thought was real, so i shall not talk about it here. Actually, i didn't tell anyone about the details anyway. Guess its best if i keep my mouth shut anyway. I open my mouth and so many people get mad at me, or even hate me. Sighhhhhh. Depressing manxzs. So i will go to sleep like now. I have chores to do tml ): and a fucking persistent headache that won't go away. Been here since like 9PM T.T

Alright, goodnight! (:

Omg, you are online. I really want to talk to you, but i am afraid of being ignored by you. So therefore i do not have the courage to do so even when i see you online. Sigh.

2011-08-19T23:11:00.002+08:00

人家都不要你了，你还在这里伤心有屁用？

So went for night study just now. Not bad ah. Completed 5 questions in about an hour. LOL. Victor very stupid, keep standing behind us, talking about how much of a genius he is. Okay lah, he did helped for my math. HAHAH.

Was kinda distracted cause today was homecoming night! All the seniors returned, then they kept walking past the classrooms :/ so i kept looking to see who it was! Ayeeeeee. Then 8.30PM came and all of us were chased outta school. Walked to backgate bus stop with hengcheng and jordan! Wlao, they damn noisy can. LOL.

So i reached home, bathed, and sat in front of my laptop. HAHAH. I am bored. & i am feeling down all of a sudden.

I'm sorry, my love was too selfish.

Remember when you told me that you would cry if i ever left you? Look who's the one crying, and who's the one who left.

What a joke, why am i even thinking about the possibility that you still care for me when you are blatantly ignoring me?

When i look at you, i find myself wondering if you still thought about me.

Then i'd wonder if you like someone else now.

I wonder if she's cuter, or perhaps she's more sweet, more understanding?

Then i'd think, fuck you.

But then i'll always end up thinking, maybe there's still hope.

So in the end, i will always be a stupid girl.

2011-08-19T17:39:00.002+08:00

Confession #1 while walking home, i still imagine finding you seated outside my door, where you would stand and pull me into an embrace, telling me that you still love me and that you want me back.

Yes, i'm a freak. Why the hell does someone imagine such stuff?! Eeek. LOL. Sighhh.

Okay, so today was my literature paper. Wth, write until my hand damn pain ): nobody to help me massage ): anyway, so i was walking home just now, and i saw some dried leaves on the floor :D so i happily went to step on them. Crunchy-crunchy one! Heehee. Was damn happy and giggling to myself, until i noticed someone in front of me staring at me -___- paiseh siah. HAHAH

And i just realised that I'm gonna spend my valentine's day next year ALL ALONE -___- don't know who was the one who promised to spend it with me. Yet now i gotta spend it as a lonely girl. LOL.

Alright, i'm gonna go out now! Going for night study :/

BYEEEE!

2011-08-18T22:42:00.002+08:00

I really should be sleeping. Intended to sleep at like 9PM. But look at the time now -.-

So i was on facebook, talking to Vanessa. HAHAH. My plans of sleeping early and doing math all gone. *POOF*

Aiyooo. Stupid girl. Just because he's online on FB doesn't mean you can stare at that small box. Tsktsk. And stop spazzing just because he commented on something. OMG. You are such a freak.

Okay. Time to sleep!

2011-08-18T20:35:00.002+08:00

It just happens to be one of those days where i miss you much more than usual.

It just happens to be one of those days where random memories of us surface, without my permission.

It just happens to be one of those days.

2011-08-18T17:42:00.004+08:00

Tears of happiness.

Guess what? A1! I did it. I got an A1 for my chinese 'O' levels! Oh my god.

So we were waiting for Yulan to come to class and announce the results. Then we saw that she was at 4G announcing. So we waited impatiently. HAHAH. We were pacing outside the class in frustration. LOL.

When she finally came, i was sitting directly in front of her ._. She had on a really ominous expression. So i was really scared ): my hands were shaking. My thumbs automatically started twiddling with each other (just like how i did the last time i met up with him HAHAH). She announced the results of those from 4B and 4C first. Then it was my turn, cause i was the first one -.-

So i stood up and she asked me if i wanna retake, with this disappointed look on her face. I was crestfallen when i heard that. Then i saw her reaching for the chocolates and i didn't even had time to think, i just started crying :/ cause she said before that she would give chocolates to those with As. So i started sobbing. LOL. I couldn't believe it. It felt like a dream. I had to ask people around me if i heard wrongly. LOL

Okay, so i was on twitter and i saw some tweets which reminded me of some things. HAHAH.

"You are mine forever." The most selfish line, but the sweetest words we want to hear from the one we love. So familiar eh, this 4 words. HAHAH

"There are so many things I'd like to tell you, yet so many reasons why I cant."

Alright, i'm gonna go sleep for awhile now :x since tomorrow's paper don't have anything to study for. Heehee.

& i wonder when it will stop hurting.

It still hurts when i see you, maybe I should stop looking at you. Avoid you? Yeah maybe i should.

2011-08-17T21:55:00.004+08:00

They were such beautiful memories, but when i think of them, i can't decide if i should laugh or cry.

Today is a tiring day -_- morning had SS paper. Then finished alr went to eat. Then went to find mdm pan go sign my declaration form for coursework. Then go home. Then go bathe. Then go out. Then go eat. Then go tuition. Then go home. Then go bathe.

Now i can finally sat down and relax. LOL. I am feeling really really really really tired and sleepy. But i haven't even started revising for poa. GG liao lah -.- okay. I shall go decide what to do.

Byeeee! (:

I swore, I'd never cry another tear for you.

Its stupid, because i know that if given a chance to do it all over again, i would still choose you.

2011-08-16T18:01:00.004+08:00

老实告诉我，你到底几时开始不要我了?

Today was a long long day! Damn tired. Fell asleep in class for one whole period until the next teacher came in. LOL. Went to northpoint again. The cute guy working at sharetea was there again :D he saw us coming and smiled at us. Think he recognises me alr, i went so many times alr :x heehee. Then he kept looking over and smiling :x oh my god. How much more adorable can a guy get? His eyes were totally gorgeous, and the way he talks. AH GOD. Thank guan yin ma i'm alive. LOL.

Okay, i need to go bathe, go offline and go study for SS! Like seriously. Veena Ang you need to study!

Okay, awhile more and i will go offline :B

Byeee!

Just a sudden thought. I wonder if you have deleted our photos. Have you?

2011-08-15T22:36:00.000+08:00

不是冲动，而是单纯地相信能够天长地久。但是我显然是太天真了。

Stupid siahhh. Only did abit for SS. Headache until a maximum siah. My dark eye circle also getting heavier by the day. Now i really resemble some panda. I vaguely recall someone telling me that its okay, because pandas are cute O: but i can't remember who. LOL. Okay, maybe i don't resemble a panda. I look like a dying patient suffering from leukemia or something -.- so pale with dark shadows under my eyes. WLAO. Like one dying girl liddat ): Audrey said i look wan. Oh nooo. Sighh, guess its only gonna get darker. Since 'O' levels are approaching, confirm everyday stay up late -.- urghhh.

Alright, gonna get back to work! Enough rest i guess ):

Byeeee!

差一点忘了你的眼睛有多么地美丽。

2011-08-15T18:14:00.003+08:00

我想，我爱得太过分了。

Today was 'O' level english oral! Nervous like shit. Thought my heart was gonna jump out T.T ended up i think i did quite well. I was the last one to come out from all 3 rooms :x meaning i talked alot. LOLOLOL. Well, teacher did ask us to give some personal response. So i did, and linked it back to the topic :D HEEHEE. I feel so pro, perhaps a distinction at the least? WAHAHAH.

Had a talk with Adeline today. Seems like we always have to wait for things to reach saturation point before we're willing to talk it out :/ but i feel better now. Now that things are kinda back to normal, i feel much happier. Like some kinda load is taken off my shoulders, probably cause now we're talking normally again. HAHAH.

Hmm, went to northpoint with her after english oral! <3 Went to eat and went to buy sharetea. That junior quite cute ah! HAHAH. Then the cute guy at sharetea was there again :B HEH. After buying sharetea went to buy dongdaemun for my mum and sist. Then went to take 965 home :D

The junwei-look-alike board the bus with his friend again. Hadn't seen them for quite some time. LOL. He damn cute leh! :/ abit beng lah. But then again, 男人不坏，女人不爱。 HAHAHAHAH. So lame omg.

Okay lah, i shall go bathe now. Then i will go study for SS! :D i'll be a hardworking girl!

Byeeeee! (:

2011-08-12T23:31:00.002+08:00

Outside, I may look like I don't give a fuck, but inside, i'm hurting like hell.

What happened to us? Who is it this time round? Are we gonna put the blame on each other once again?

I'm just so tired of life. Maybe everyone else's life would be better without me.

Bye.

2011-08-11T19:00:00.000+08:00

"What I'm standing on is sinking in
And I don't have a clue how to get off of it
Underneath this smile
My world is slowly caving in
All the while
I'm hanging on
Cause that is all I know
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
I've been hiding out for miles
Underneath this smile"

It feels like i'm losing everything. I've already lost one, now i'm gonna lose more?

I'm sorry i don't know who i am anymore. I don't understand myself. Who is this girl looking back at me in the mirror? I see this ugly, miserable, self centered, disgusting bitch.

& I can't understand or even guess what all of you are thinking. Whispered rumors, tainted glances. Its just so scary.

& you. Remember how you used to write my name on your palm? I wonder if you've replaced it with someone else's name. Her name.

2011-08-11T18:30:00.001+08:00

True love fears nothing.

Hell yeaaaah. True love has nothing to be afraid of! Because it is true! HAHAH. True love can't disappear no matter what, that's why it has nothing to fear; because all it takes is two people who really care for one another and wants to be together. Or maybe enough to want the other party to be happy no matter what. So no matter what, they will not want to hurt him/her; they would choose to bear the hurt themselves. But its still stupid. Whatever it is, talking it out is the best solution. HAHAH.

Oh yeaaah. I am tired. Only slept 5 hours last night. Therefore i shall go to sleep now. Lazy post about the ice skating trip yesterday. If you're curious, go look at the photo album that i am tagged in on facebook! HAHAH. Quite some photos that i wasn't tagged in, so look at the album bah. I got caught on some videos too :/ ayeeee, so paiseh. LOL. But it was really fun :D

Well, good nap! (:

2011-08-11T00:40:00.000+08:00

Today was awesomeeee!

Like the best! Heehee. Okay, so technically not today. Since its alr over 12AM. So should i say yesterday? HAHAH. I am very tired, so i shall go sleep now and blog about this tomorrow :B

Goodnight! :D

2011-08-10T09:30:00.002+08:00

Good morning.

Don't know why i'm awake so early. I set my alarm at 10AM! LOL. Sighh, weird body :/

Slept at somewhere after 3AM last night. HAHAH. Well, i couldn't sleep because i was thinking about too many issues. Anywayyy, he posted something on FB last night O: i am very intrigued. Cause he doesn't post stuff unless he's really, well, affected i guess. I wonder what happened :x if only we were still on talking terms. I wish.. Hmm, wishes and hopes are of no use alr. Its impossible anyway. LOL. So stop thinking anymore veena ang!

GG liao. I am starting to feel tired :x later got tuition leh. Howwww! ):

Okay, i think i shall go take a half an hour nap. LOL. Hope i wake up in time!

Byeee! (:

2011-08-10T02:03:00.002+08:00

401th post!

Feeling better now. AHAHA. I must be mad. I can be completely fine one moment, and then be an emotional wreak the next moment. Then afterwards i'd be one hyper bitch. Which is bad timing, because it is already 2AM -.-

So yeah. Things are going downhill. I don't know what exactly i can do to make things right. What i can do, i have already done. What else do i have to do? Argh. I don't know anymore.

On the other hand, i know i can talk to her. But you? Not that easy.

Sighh, its really late. I have tuition at 11AM tomorrow :/ think i'm gonna be zombified. Eek. Well, one good thing, i'm going ice skating tomorrow! But, its with a bunch of people i don't know O: omg. Should i really go? LOL.

Anyway, this gave me a tiny shock. Okay, a rather big shock. He actually signed into msn. LOL. Scared me. So i wondered what he was doing. And the answer came to me naturally, confirm plus chop talking to her. HA.

What am i doing? Veena Ang what are you doing? You need to buck up. Don't ruin your own life. Urghh.

Okay, so i'm tumblring now! Gonna go to sleep when i cannot tahan :D oh yeaaaah. Keep your smile on baby. HAHAH. Woooo!

Goodnight! (:

2011-08-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

Its my 400th post.

And everything is falling apart.

Bye.

2011-08-09T13:14:00.002+08:00

SUAY LIKE FUCK.

Dropped my phone in the toilet. Into water T.T luckily it cracked open and the battery landed somewhere dry. But my phone ): i went to dry it immediately. And now its just lying there in front of the fan. LOL.

Anywayyyy, on a happier note. I had pizza and yogurt for lunch :D hawaiian pizza and chicken supreme ^^ WAHAHAH. And apricot yogurt. I was having a lot of fun before my phone dropped into water -.- was texting many many people. Laughing until i want die. Then now, no more T.T

Wah. I didn't know that the parade is going on now o.o i'm just singing at home. HAHAH. This is random, but i smell nice :D ahahaha, mum is gonna buy koi home for me later <3 heehee.

I woke up today at 11.45AM :D been waking at this time an awful lot lately :/ probably because i've been sleeping at 1-2AM recently. LOL. Woke up with a pounding pain in my abdominal area. Lalala, so shiok. Savouring the pain. HAHAH. I am such a sadist mannnn! I also don't know why i like ): but i love this once in a month pain. LOL

Laughing like mad now. Jiafeng wants to set up a meeting for me and xiao hei. HAHAH. Yeah, he's cute, but no need lah hor. LOL. Which reminds me that somebody waved to me yesterday in school ^^ HEEHEE. So cute. LOL

Ohh this is bad. I have no idea why my body seems to be falling apart. Whole body feels tireeed ): pain here pain there. I don't like this pain. LOL ): the area under my left eye hurts like fuck whenever i apply slight pressure to it. I don't know why its hurting so much, and i'm imagining things like bone marrow cancer or whatever shit. OMGXZXC.

Anyway, prelim 2 is in 8days. Holy fuck. I should have started studying days ago D: now regret also no use alr. Nvm, i shall start today :/

And i just realised its been 39days alr! Time passes so quickly? I've alr stopped looking at your profile. LOL. Realised i don't really care anymore, somehow. O:

Okay, i think i'm gonna go take a nap, although i actually just woke up around 2 hours ago. HAHAH. Pigliness. LOL.

Good nap! (:

2011-08-08T23:33:00.003+08:00

So full omgzxzc!

I had pizzahut for my dinner :B heh heh. Stupid siah. Ate until my stomach want bao zha alr lah! Arghhh ):

Woke up at 6.45pm just now. LOL. Went to bathe, then went online. Then it was 9pm and i had to go watch my jason ;p ahhh, his eyes. He's so damn cute man! So just came back from eating and watching tv. LOL so full that it hurts D: somebody help meeeee!

Recently i've had some eggs following me on twitter. Yes. Eggs. People who do not have profile photos will be automatically assigned eggs as their profile photo. LOL. Like a cute only. You haven't even started tweeting but you're alr following me! Cute lah you ah boy. HAHAH.

Also, more people are following me now. I feel kinda uncomfortable tweeting my thoughts now. LOL. It used to be only a few people who has access to my thoughts, but now, 96 people who can see my innermost thoughts? Oh my. SO EMBARRASSING. Bleah. HAHAH.

So earlier, i had some time alone. I forgot how my thought process went, but well. I've finally taken the final step! :D i'm completely letting him go now. Even the memories. I'll be slowly letting them go. I will try my best not to think about them, and to stop thinking when i am reminded of anything. This is the last step, after this, you will be completely erased. But i don't know how long this is gonna take. Oh well, you weren't worth my tears anyway.

I am putting aside my bitterness, and wishing you the best in everything. I hope that you can get her, whichever girl it is that you like now. Even though its killing me to say that, to wish you all the best with another girl, i hope that you are happy now. I hope that you can always be happy, because even if its just once more, i'd like to see that gorgeous smile again.

Lalala. I am bored. I gotta wait for my food to digest before i can sleep ): meanwhile, what should i do? Oh nana. I'm so boredddd. Okayyyy, i know alr! I shall sing! AHAHA. The talented veena ang shall now proceed on to choose a song and sing ;p

K, BYEBYE.

2011-08-08T15:49:00.003+08:00

Just came home!

Am sooooo tired ): i fell asleep on the bus! My head and neck hurts D: LOL. Lucky i woke up in time to alight. Phew. Tired like mad lor. Stupid girl, all because you slept at like 2AM. Bendan!

The celebrations were FUN! Awesome man! High ttfm! 4D won 2nd for the collage making :B omg, first time winning something. LOL. Sat beside hengcheng, bryan lee, jordan, jingyuan and etc. They were hilarious. They joined flags together to form really, well, long flags. LOL. Keep borrowing my scissors. So funny man. So high :D the concert was awesome. The quiz part was really really funny. Cannot take it lah, richard and nabil they all really damn funny. LOL. Then the chinese drama, it was really really amazing! My hair stood up. HAHAH. But it was a really well laid out plot, with terrific actors :B

Met with sammy and yeewah after celebrations just now. Went to KC to accompany sam to look at 2nd hand phones. Took 811 to northpoint to eat. Stupid siah, wait damn long. And we barely squeezed in -.- LOL. Yeewah had to leave early, so me and sammy went to walk around to decide on what to eat. Wanted to eat seoul garden! But there was a waiting list ._. so we went to look at other places. Finally decided on thai express when we walked past it on the way to look at cafe cartel. LOL.

So we ate, and talked and talked and talked! Talked about alot of stuff :/ girl to girl talk is really awesome. HAHAH. Bitch about other people, complain about my woes, and etc. LOL so went to accompany her to get her choco milkshake before we left.

Alright, i'm gonna take a nap. Super tired!! ):

Nightnight! (:

2011-08-08T00:40:00.002+08:00

Shopping therapy <3

Shopping is the best cure ever. I can't believe that i didn't think of going shopping when you just broke up with me. I would have felt much better, i probably wouldn't have thought that much. & maybe not hurt that much :/ HAHAH. Anyway, spent like, $110 on clothes today. OMFGXZCZ.

I am guilty ): sorry mummy. Sorry for buying so much clothes. ALAH. As if you're not gonna wear liddat. All those are also chosen, approved and wanted by you also. LOL. IMMA HAPPY GIRL! ^^ heehee.

Tomorrow i'm gonna go out with my dear sammy. Been AGES since i met up with her. Got some major girltogirl catching up to do! AWW. Don't feel like studying after national day celebrations. Sorryyyy! :/

Anyway, these 2 boys srsly very irritating can. Webcam me immediately when i logged in, then show me some stupid obscene things and TAKE MY PHOTOS. Wlao. So bad ): worse is jk still go post on fb. So qian bian!

LALALA. I'm listening to down to earth. JUSTIN BIEBERRRR! I don't know why i'm still so awake. I gotta wake up at 6AM tomorrow -.- confirm plus chop gg. I'm gonna wake up with tiny panda eyes ):

Talking to someone totally random now. HAHAH. Aiyoooo. So late alr still don't want sleep! Okay, i shall end my post here. Gonna dl songs, go on twitter awhile more before i sleep! (:

BYE! :D

2011-08-07T14:33:00.003+08:00

Its scary how similar you are to him. I am relieved that we broke up now. LOL.

I may miss you, but you are better off being mere memories i guess. It may hurt now, but the lessons i learnt, they are gonna help me. So thank you (:

2011-08-07T13:38:00.003+08:00

Bad start.

Stupid. Woke up in a not-so-good mood. Then someone had to worsen it. Like please, I alr tried my best to advice you on what I think is the best option. You are the one who is stubborn and refuse to see things from another point of view. You say i don't care, and its true. I don't want to care because you've never appreciate my efforts. Besides, who knows. Something like that time might happen again. So its better if i don't care.

Take a deep breath veena ang. Nobody's ever gonna be worth it. No matter how much you care, no matter how much tears you shed. So take a deep breath, and forget about it all (:

Hell yeah. I'm one hell of a girl. Shamefully optimistic. (Y) no matter what, veena ang will always be smiling. If not, something's terribly wrong. HAHAH.

Ate leftover fried chicken from dongdaemun! Arghh, very full ): later still gotta accompany mum go out. Haiyooo.

Okay, shall end it here.

Bye! (:

2011-08-06T22:30:00.003+08:00

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

Today was enjoyable :B so shuang. AHAHA.

It wasn't until sam asked me who i usually text nowadays that i realised how much things have changed. HAHAH.

Anywaayy! The last few days, i've been seriously thinking it over. I've been considering going to JC instead of poly :/ cause its like, i don't have a dream yet. I have no idea what i want to be, totally no idea where i want to be. Hell, i can't even imagine where i'd be in 10 years time! ): and to go to poly, you gotta at least have a direction. Like humanities or mass com. I don't have a single clue what i want. LOL. If i go to JC though, i'd have more time to decide on what i intend to do with my future. Meanwhile, get into a university :B AWWWW. University = more $$$

(Y)

But the problem now is, i have no cca points at all. Totally none at all. Nada. Fuck my life. I shouldn't have dropped HCL. I can get 2 points deducted if i just pass it. PASS ONLY ALSO CAN GET TWO FUCKING POINTS DEDUCTED. WLAO. HOW STUPID AM I?!

Sighhhhhh ): i'm wallowing in depression now. All i can rely on now, is that perhaps they will take pity on me and give me at least 1 mark. Then after that rely on affiliation to deduct points. LOL, hopefully then, i'd be able to get into NYJC. Like HAHAH. If not, YJC here i come, LOLLL

Ahh well. Its all up to how well i fare for my 'O' levels. Hope i can get 14. I really like this number. LOL. Or maybe not. Its a bad number because it represents a bad guy. HAHAH. So i should get 13 instead. Or maybe 11. Oh no, cannot. LOL, so perhaps 10? AHAHAH. Aiyooo. Hope i can do it!

I think i shall just stop here. Gotta accompany mum go out tml. Ahhh so sian ): finally had a day of rest. And yet.. ): BOO.

Byebye and goodnight! (:

2011-08-06T15:53:00.002+08:00

Hello!

Pretty ain't it? :D i really love this necklace. It was a present from someone. Heehee. Thought i lost it awhile back, but i found it! LOL.

This morning, a series of unfortunate events happened ): ahh. So sad. Totally lost face. Went to take a nap when i reached home, but couldn't sleep because too many things were running through my mind. LOL

When i see you texting, I know you're texting with her. & I imagine how much happier you are texting her instead of me. When i see you looking in a specific direction, i imagine that you're looking for her. & I imagine how much happier you are looking for her than you are when you see me.

& then I look away. As i do so, i'm imagining you liking her, someone else, anyone. I'm imagining you replacing me, imagining you looking at someone else with that look in your eyes. & then i'd feel this stab of pain right in the center of my heart. But then i'd direct my thoughts in another direction, and the pain is subdued. At least for the time being.

I suddenly remember you telling me how my dad is such a "bad man". Its quite funny, cause now that i look at it again, you seem almost the same. Making a girl think that you love her, making her think that she's your everything. & then dashing it in an instant. LOL

I feel better after letting all my thoughts out (: it feels really suffocating, keeping them pent up inside me :/ alright, i'm gonna prepare to go out now :D gonna go buy sharetea then go for tuition ;p GOT MY CUTECUTE LATER! OMG. *spazz die* heehee.

Bye! (:

2011-08-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

Hi hi!

Its late, i know ): i'm tired too. LOL. Such a pig lah wlao eh. Slept from around 5.50pm to 7.30pm. Went to bathe, then went to eat. Then watched the 9PM show. WLAO. The zhiyong damn cute can. HAHAH. The jason also! So damn cute man *.* spazz die!

Today, went to meet loy at causeway to eat texas chicken! :D been craving for it for so long. Then adeline busy, val don't want accompany me. So nvm lor. Been so long since i met loy anyway, time to meet up with him! HAHAH.

We couldn't get seats at first. It was all quite funny. Finally got a table after waiting for #$#^^%# mins. Loy's friend came afterwards. Zzzz, we ended up eating only at 2 or 2.30 i think. I love texas chicken, but got one stupid boy ah, keep complaining about the chicken. Is you suay, get ribcage, thats why not nice okay. LOL

Then went to some youth center (?) at 806 there. Got pool room there. Went to watch people play. Like a fun only. Except i just did the watching. If i play, i think i will probably cause an explosion or something. I don't even know how to hold the thing can -.- LOL.

Anyway, there was this cute guy there :D kinda awesome how he has the same name as my first crush. LOL. Except that his is a K. Aww, he has the most gorgeous eyes! Heehee. I kept looking. HAHAH.

Okay, went home afterwards. Used comp for awhile, then slept :D

Just followed this chinese quote thing on twitter. Love her tweets man! :D

我爱你，没有什么目的。只是爱你。一辈子，就做一次自己。这一次，我想给你全世界。这一次，遍体鳞伤也没关系。这一次，用尽所有的勇敢。这一次，可以什么都不在乎。但只是这一次就够了。因为生命再也承受不起这么重的爱情。愿意为你丢弃自尊，放下矜持，不管值不值，不管爱得多卑微。

选择遗忘，我只是为了更好的活下去。那种疼，你不懂，你也不在乎。就像我们是两个世界的人，仅仅只是过客。你的不在乎，你的冷漠，让我看透了。只能自己承受着你给的伤，你一次又一次令我心碎。那一瞬间，我终于发现，爱是折磨人的游戏，最爱的人输得最彻底！

我们说会等一个人,其实等的已经不是这个人了,只是一种心情,不甘心忽然在的人说离开就离开了。不要那么轻易地说会,用你的心说你真的会吗？对曾经的那个人,也许你真的很爱过,但你不过是爱那个不可能得到的背影和那已经摸不着的回忆。何不选择就此放下。

你遇上一个人，你爱他多一点，那么，你始终会失去他。然后，你遇上另一个，他爱你多一点，那么，你早晚会离开他。直到有一天，你遇到一个人，你们彼此相爱。终于你明白，所有的寻觅，也有一个过程。从前在天涯，而今咫尺。

The last 2 are especially true lor :/ okay, so all of them are true. LOL. Can totally relate to it mannn!

Aiyooo. I love quotes :D and i love twitter too. Heehee. Alright, i gotta sleep. Its soooo late alr! ): realised i've been sleeping around this time everyday. Jialat lah! I have study session and tuition tml somemore. Ayeeee D:

Goodnight! (:

2011-08-05T17:33:00.001+08:00

Just reached home!

Ahh, i'm exhausted. Shall go take a nap. Will blog later!

Goodnight~

2011-08-04T21:21:00.004+08:00

I just woke up at 8PM.

I must have been exhausted to sleep through my alarm -.- mai siao siao. I am very sensitive to noise one k! So if i didn't hear it, it must mean i was knocked out. LOL when i woke up and saw the time i was "arggh wtf man". Then i staggered out and sat on the sofa and stone for awhile until i fully woke up. HAHAH. Went to bathe after that.

I finished bathing and came back to my room at 8.50PM. LOL. I intend to do POA after i finish blogging! So guai! :D heehee. But then again, i need to concentrate on POA. Its incredible how my grades can drop from A1 to F9 just like that, *snap* .

Okay, so i suddenly recall that day when i went to school with loy. So we sat together at the last row together and sort of lean on each other. It was at that instant when it hit me with a pang, the realisation of how much i miss your warmth. Yes, i miss you so much. Yet at the same time i know its no longer possible. So yeah, someone better will come along. Someone who won't break his promises to me. Someone who won't hurt me like you did.

Lets see! What do i hope for in my ideal boyf? :D well, I hope that i can meet someone who... loves me more than i love him. Someone who needs me like i need him. Someone who actually says something because he actually really means it and intend to keep it that way. Someone who makes a promise only when he is totally sure he is capable of keeping it. Someone who cares about what's happening in my life, and wants to know everything about me. Someone who loves sharing what's happening in his life with me, because i am just that important to him. Someone that i can tell ANYTHING to, and who will confide in me too. Someone who doesn't keep secrets with me, and is honest with me and tells me what he thinks. Someone who can be my best friend, yet at the same time have this constant spark, a strong attraction and connection. Someone who'd like to spend most his time with me, and will make it happen even if when he's busy. Someone who'd do anything for me, the way i'd do anything for him too. Someone who would make an effort to talk it out with me when we get into quarrels. Someone who might look at me and feel breathless, someone who might think that i'm the most beautiful person on earth. Not that i am of course, but you'd only feel that way if you truly love that person (: he or she would appear to be the best to you. HAHAH. Someone who'd love everything about me. Not just my good points, but the parts i don't show to everyone too :/ someone who'd do anything to make me smile. Someone who can't stay mad at me for long, because he loves me too much. HAHAH. Someone who'd try to protect me from any form of harm. Someone who thinks that i am the most important person in his life. Someone who intends to spend the rest of his life with me, seriously. (:

Ehhh, i think i ran out of qualities i want my ideal boyf to have. LOL. But what i've listed is enough alr. HAHAH. And i realised that i like tanned guys :D ahh, gorgeous. Heehee.

Alright, shall go do POA now :x

Goodnight!

2011-08-04T16:02:00.002+08:00

Letting go bit by bit with each passing day.

C'mon girl! Jiayou :D

Ahh isn't this sweet & awesome? Me cheering on myself. LOL. And i realised i lost my craving for otah O: probably cause it reminds me of him. LOLLL. Most of the time i eat otah, it was with him. Hahahah. Aiyooo.

Today is a sad day. Adeline got oral. Val don't want to accompany me. Fine lor, i go home alone ): emogirl95 D: being alone made me think of sooo many stuff.

So i'm eating at home right now, eating left over fried rice from 2 days ago. LOL. Wondering when my body is gonna disintegrate, the way i'm treating myself now. HAHAH.

Anyway! Got back results slip today. Saddened. My L1R5? A frigging 34. And my L1R4 is 25. Ha. Lucky number. How awesome. English? C5. Math and POA F9. Science and humanities B4. Chinese B3 -.- like what the fuck man. Sigh.

Okay, i shall go take a nap now.

2011-08-03T22:50:00.002+08:00

Hello hello!

Oh my, so late alr. I am terribly tired ): only slept for about less than 6 hours yesterday. Then i just bathed only, so i can't sleep yet D: ahhhhh.

Well, today was a long day! First up was science practical. Didn't surrender my phone. Teehee! Bad girl ah. LOL. Totally screwed up. I spent a lot of time on the physics part. Fucking burette and the stupid roller thing -.- i redid it like more than a fucking dozen times. Wlao eh.

Okay, nvm. What done is done. Went to the LT to be quarantined -.- 4 hours! Did abit of maths, some POA, and alot of talking. LOL. 4 hours flew past man. There was a lot of food sharing and food snatching. HAHAH.

So after we were released, walked to the backgate and realised it was locked. Fuck ah. LOL. Waited for the security guard to come unlock it, cause it was raining and we didn't want to walk from the front gate. We'd get soaked ._. So we waited and waited.

Afterwards we reached causeway around 2.30PM. Headed for texas chicken immediately. LOL. Damn that karen. Service so lan. Never give me tissue also! Wlao. Waited in the queue for 15mins leh! ):

Well, i got my chicken in the end :D savoured it thoroughly before heading to the library to accompany adeline to return her books. Then i rushed home to change before going for tuition! Awesome lah. E.K so cute ;p

Hmm met mum and sist afterwards for dinner. Pekchek die. Order so much food then cannot finish ask me eat -.- wth. Then i keep telling her to hurry up, tell her i go home first, but she keep telling me to wait awhile. Ended up reaching home at like 9.35pm -.- I am exhausted T.T

Well, today was a rather okay day! Just very tiring ): and honestly, i am sick of myself. Sick of myself missing you. Its just so demeaning that i'm actually still in love with you. Tsk tsk.

Alright, goodnight!

2011-08-02T22:57:00.002+08:00

Its 11PM.

I should be sleeping ): there's science practical tomorrow. I'm in the first shift -.- meaning i gotta reach school at the usual timing. Eyyyy, fuck the system. Everybody arriving late except 4D. So unfair ):

Okay, so i'm secretly happy. LOL. Cause i get to go for morning assembly :x ayeee. Si bendan. Stop thinking! And i seriously need to stop spazzing. HAHAH.

Alright, goodnight everyone (:

2011-08-02T16:50:00.002+08:00

Ayoooo!

So tired today! ): okay, seems like i'm saying that everyday. LOL. Didn't skip any lessons today! Guai guai :D first few lessons were soooo boring. Was regretting going to school, because initially i wanted to pon lor ): but english lesson was fun! Had so much fun at the back of the class ;p

Stayed back for oral practice :/ lucky only awhile. Then i went home alone ): lonely much!

This morning, i have no idea if this is good or bad, but i ended up sitting beside him. LOLLLLL. Was rather reluctant, but i had no choice. He was alone, guess that explained his rigidness. Quite funny :/ hahaha. All throughout assembly, i didn't look. I didn't want to because of my pride. If i look, it would mean i lose. LOL. But we had some eye contact, and somehow i think i could feel his eyes on me. Hmmm.

Then during class, when i went to the toilet and returned; at the same time his paper ended too and he was standing outside his class. He looked at me, i looked back. We stared all the way, until i had to look away cause i was entering my class. LOL.

What were you thinking?

I decided to stare back because i wanted to show him that i am fine now, that i don't have to look away when i see him because i no longer care about him. Hopefully these thoughts will come true in time.

Anyway, gonna go take a nap now! Sooo tired today ):

Goodnight ;p

2011-08-01T17:49:00.002+08:00

Rain rain go away~

Today was not a good day ): i was very restless all through out the day. So restless that i skipped some lessons :/ die alr lah. I can't lose my concentration now, but i don't feel like studying ):

Awkward leh today! Morning assembly got eye contact not enough, walk back to class after recess also got. Then during lunch also awkward. We were gonna walk past each other, and i didn't know where to look, so i looked down. Like a pathetic only -.- idiot siol! Haiyoooo.

Overspent today also ): gonna survive on bread tml! LOL. Squashed bread :/ HAHAH.

Finally spilled out my heart to valval. Ahh, feels a little better? LOL.

I admit, i still want to see you, and i still miss you. God damn it, i still want you. I really shouldn't be feeling that... Maybe if you would just stop looking over, then it will be easier for me to give up? Cause its like every time i look at you, it seems like i fall in love with you all over again. Despite everything you have put me through. Despite knowing that you're not a good person, despite knowing full well that we just weren't meant to be. Well, fuck my naiveness. Fuck hopes.

Okay okay, i am a tiredgirl95. So i shall go sleep for awhile :x

Heehee!

2011-07-31T20:00:00.002+08:00

Just came home!

Ahhh, so tired man. Still gotta iron my uniform and put shoelace. And i haven't bathed yet! :x no choice. I am very full now, gotta wait for my food to digest awhile first!

Mum bought a very pretty box for me :D heehee. Gonna store all my old and memorable stuff inside!

Saw a lot of cute guys just now ;p heehee. Alright, gonna go pack my box and etc :x

Goodnight! (:

2011-07-31T13:19:00.002+08:00

Good morning everybody! :D

Okay, its alr 1pm, not morning alr ): i woke at 12pm! Heehee. I slept at around 2am last night mah :/ i just finished sorting out all the laundry and throwing them to wash. Ahh tired ): sian lah. Later still gotta hang the clothes D:

Hmm, i had a really awesome dream. Although i have no idea who the guy in my dream is, i am assuming he could possibly be my future boyf. DEJA VU! ;p heehee. Pretty single eye lids. Goodness me. Where are you! HAHAH.

So i received some news about you from someone while texting. Seems like you have pretty weird behaviour. LOL but it doesn't concern me anyway. Just found it vaguely entertaining. HAHAH.

Texting with my moon now ;p HEEHEE. He's cute, but why is he so thin! ): but yay! My new texting buddy :D AHAHAH.

Gonna meet mum later for dinner! Gonna go eat thai express at northpoint. HEEHEE.

At this rate that i'm eating, i'm gonna grow fat fat ): but i think i'm still okay right now i guess. Lets see.. My height is 155cm ;p (that's what the machine says, and the machine is always right. LOL). Okay maybe i'm not 155cm ): i went to measure manually and seems like i'm fated to be stuck at 153cm forever D: or was it 154cm? I don't know ): aaaaand my weight is 43.9kg! Don't round up! It looks better this way ;p HAHAH.

Okay, just cooked campbell chicken soup :D gonna go eat now.

BYE!

2011-07-31T00:20:00.002+08:00

Today was a long day ):

Woke up at 7.45am. Went to school for literature seminar. It was fantastically amazing. Awesome man :D the games were embarrassing like shit. But it was totally worth it. I can understand the novel so much better now ;p brought my understanding of it to a whole new level. Now i have so many perspectives to look from. Heehee.

The seminar lasted until 4.15pm! Crazy eh! Soooo long. But it was so interesting that not once did i felt sleepy! :D so afterwards, we were among the first to leave the AVA room. Ironically, we ended up among the last to leave. Cause the frigging gate was locked and we had to wait for the teachers to arrive anyway. LOL

So we rushed to northpoint to buy sharetea before going for tuition! HAHAH. Weeeee, i love saturday's tuition ;p cause got my cutecute. He's so damn cuteeeee! :x its amazing how captivating a person's smile can be. Heehee.

Tuition ended at 7pm. Went home, reached at 8pm. HAHAH. Dad brought us out for dinner. Went out with the intention of eating texas chicken, but ended up eating ajisen. LOL. Then we went to popular to buy stuff. I bought 5 foolscap pads, a correction tape and 3 pens. Like finally! I have been needing these for a very long time. LOL. I bought an orange pen and a sky blue pen. & also a violet one ;p heehee, so chio!

So reached home at like 10pm :/ bathed, and has been using the comp ever since ;p HAHAH.

Reading my literature notes now. Heh, love them sooo much! Okay, i shall stop here alr.

Goodnight ^^

2011-07-29T22:55:00.004+08:00

Today is the day.

I just made an envelope, and labelled it 'the past'. I put your card inside. And the tickets of those movies we watched together. I kept receipts too, remember? Those that were with you, i chucked it inside the envelope too. I read your card again just now, over and over. All your promises, your promise to dote on me more than anyone else? They all sound like lies to me now. As for our ring.. I'm holding it right now. Its been so long since i took it out. I haven't taken it out since we broke up. I'm turning it around, scrutinizing it. So many scratches, so many memories. Our names together, the date. & I wondered if you still have my photos, our photos, the stupid video you took of me. Do you still take our ring out to look at it? Do you still look at the cards i gave you? Do you still think about me? I feel regretful that it has to end this way; but oh well. You made your choice.

These thoughts have to stop. & today will be the day. After i put everything into the envelope and put it inside the box, you and i, we are officially finished. We are nothing more than.. Familiar strangers?

I found those bus tickets. Remember the day we went to ikea? The bus broke down. 17 may. It was memorable.

Ahh, remember we went to sengkang (i think) to eat burger king? LOL. 12 may.

Oh found another receipt. 22 april. We went to bugis junction. We ate at pastamania. Remember the plate of pasta we shared? It was cheesy ham crumble.

8 april. You helped me pay for my overdued fees for my library books.

Wow. 25 march. We went to tiong bahru to eat 18chef.

12 march. We ate at nex's pizza hut with val and her junior.

6 february . We ate at that small japanese stall at nex.

11 february. Woodlands library's cafe. We ate and slacked there.

25 february. We went to cafe cartel to eat. Followed by a movie, homecoming.

7 february. We ate at causeway's ajisen. This place was rather significant for us. Given that we had our first date there.

25 may. Our 4th month. We watched the movie 'beastly'.

Hey, remember our first kiss? It was the best, for me. It was indescribable. I was so happy. We were so happy. Remember how you liked to play with my nails? Remember how you liked to keep me close to you all the time? Remember 'hao qiang ah'? Remember running out in the middle of lessons to meet me because we just missed each other too much? Remember how you gave me so many nicknames? Remember how you liked to spam me with 'dear' and 'i love you'? Remember how you pull me close so that i can lean on you during MRT rides? Remember how you used to love me?

Yeah, you used to. I guess you just got bored of me.

BUT. After today, i will begin anew. You were just a chapter in my life. The next chapter in my life has began :D i hope that someday, when i see you again, you will be happy. I will ask about you from time to time. I want to ask you how you are, but given how you didn't even reply my last text, i guess you either can't be bothered, or you are scared of me? LOL.

I hope you take good care of yourself. Stop falling off bikes. Hahaha, and stop wearing slippers to play bball. Try not to talk back to teachers lah. LOL. And i haven't seen you going down for meals during breaks recently. Take care of yourself and eat. Don't be stupid, you'll spoil your stomach -.- Sleep early k? Playing games late into the night is not good for health :x LOL. Don't always play psp in class lah! Study hard? I hope you can make it to sec 5 :/ it would be more beneficial maybe. HAHAH. Whoever it is that you decide to be with in the future, i hope that you will cherish her. Treat her better than how you treat me. And be sure that you really love her before you make all those promises. Cause it really hurts a lot. Well, i guess you are happy now! Single and carefree, just what you always want eh? HAHAH. Take care eh.

Right now, i'm dropping our ring into the envelope. Goodbye my dear.

So i put this envelope in a box where i put my old stuff. Hopefully one day, i will rediscover it and look through it while laughing to myself, reminiscing. HAHAH.

Goodnight! (:

2011-07-29T17:14:00.003+08:00

Just came home from tuition!

Oh my god. Soooo tired ): my perfect friday is like, wasted. Cause i had tuition. LOL. But it was rather effective today :D i did 14 questions within 2 hours! Wait, that doesn't sound like much ): HAHAH, but it is an achievement, considering that i completed them all by myself :D heeheeeeee ;p

Tomorrow there's literature seminar from frigging 9-4pm. And then tuition from 5-7pm. Goodness, i am gonna be so exhausted D:

So today! Finished school at 12.40pm! Heehee. So excited! Been sooo long since i left school so early :/ but so suay~ Saw somebody as i was walking to the toilet. What kind of luck do i have -.- but today was actually quite a good day. Early morning, as i was walking in the back gate with adeline, we saw NCC guy ;p oh my god. He has really gorgeous arms and hands. HAHAH. And his eyes! Wah, seriously i tell you, its so damn pretty. Cannot tahan lah. LOL

Then in school, saw pasta guy and my QQ :D hell yeah, we have alot of nicknames for those guys that we think are cute. HAHAH.

So val and i head to northpoint for lunch! Initially felt hungry and wanted to eat something, but somebody's appearance ruined my appetite. LOL. So we went to buy sharetea and sushi instead ;p heehee. Anyway, while we were buying sharetea, there was this really really really shuai guy. Its really bimbotic, but i couldn't stop ahm chiouing. HAHAH. Because he kept looking over and we had eye contact. Heehee, he had the most gorgeous eyes (: and he was wearing black full framed glasses. Why is it that most black full framed glasses wearing guys are so cute? LOL.

BUT. I did something stupid in front of the black glasses shuai guy ): I lost my queue number for my milktea. And just happens that they went to sit at where we sat, which also happens to be where i lost my receipt. So I was walking around them and looking underneath them. So paisehhh! HAHAH. They must be thinking what the hell is this girl trying to do. LOL

Then we went to ishi to sit down and eat our sushi :D we sat at the area near the toilet. Then i was facing everyone. Imagine the awkward moment when val went to look at the food available and i was left alone to stare at nothing while everyone stares at me. LOL. Well, the good thing is that the guy opposite my table facing me was really cute. He has nice eyes (: and those nice eyes were looking into mine. AHAHA.

Left for tuition afterwards!

Anywayyyyy!

I suddenly recall what audrey said to me during F&N :D she was telling me about her plans for after 'O's. Heehee, she wants to go to kukup (is this how you spell it?) with her friends. Meaning me of course. LOL. Well, me and many others. So we're gonna have some girl fun. HEEHEE. Imagine a bungalow full of 18 girls. WILD PARTY MAN. HAHAH. Good food, Karaoke, games and the sea! Two days one night, only $70 per pax. Soooo worth it lor :/

Well, i gotta convince my dad to let me go first ): i doubt he will just allow me to go to malaysia with my friends :/ URGHH. I need to convince him of so manyyyy things!

Honestly, i can't wait for secondary school life to be over :x can't wait for poly. So much fun (and guys) waiting for me. HAHAH. I wonder if i will meet my future husband there? ;p was having much fun talking with val about our future. And wondering about how my future boyf would be, and making plans for my wedding. HAHAH. That would be like, in 10 or more year's time. LOL

Can't wait for red camp ;p i alr registered! But i haven't told my dad. HAHAH. Wlao, i am like a badgirl95 ): but i can alr imagine all the fun (and the hot guys). HEEHEE. NGEE ANN POLY LEH. Wahahah.

Okay okay. I shall stop here. Such a lengthy and bimbotic post ;p HAHAH. Shall go take a shooooort nap! Then i will wake up, bathe and do emath :x

K! Bye bye! :D

2011-07-28T23:07:00.003+08:00

Okay.

Fuck you. Honestly and sincerely. I'm done. I will personally make sure that you are erased from every aspect of my life. I never wanted this to happened, but right now i feel so cheated. To think i did so much for you. I feel dislike developing. Ah well. This was inevitable.

Farewell.

2011-07-28T17:00:00.002+08:00

I am such a bitch.

I am seriously such a screwed up person. No wonder you left me.

I am sorry for everything. I was honestly on the verge of breaking down just now. So I was being really bitchy earlier. Sighhh.

Sorry.

I broke my own promise with myself. I allowed myself to miss you. I have no idea why today was such an awful day. I miss you especially much today. It hurts so so much.

Wish for today: I wish that everything you told me were lies.

Bye.

2011-07-27T18:51:00.002+08:00

I am ready to give up totally on you.

Whenever i start thinking or hoping that you would come back to me, i shall slap myself. Whenever i see you, i will think about those horrible things you have said to me. I will think about how you suck, for treating me like this. And hopefully, i will be able to forget you by prelim 2.

LOL.

Well, since you don't love me anymore. I should learn from you.

Bye.

2011-07-26T22:39:00.003+08:00

Just finished dinner :x

Oh my god. Soooo full ): dad insists i'm dieting -.- fuck lah. I alr ate so much. What you want me to do! Tsktsk. Now because of that i can't sleep early ): need wait for awhile let my food digest first. Pain like fuck can. LOL. Eat too much -_- WTH.

My research is done halfway. Heehee. I'm wondering how i'm gonna get up tml. Hmm, do you know that you're still one of my motivations to get up for school? Even though its awkward and kinda upsetting when i see you, i still secretly look forward to seeing you :x

It feels like i'm back to having a one sided crush on you. Except that its no longer a crush. And you're no longer a stranger. No, you are a stranger. A familiar one. Hmmmm.

Okay, it doesn't matter anymore. I shall let time do its thing. Soon, i will forget you.

I'm off to do more research.

Goodbye!

2011-07-26T19:04:00.002+08:00

Hello!

Today was a long day ): only got to eat at like 12.25 ): damn hungry! But the lor mee was kinda disgusting. Eeeek!

English was free period. Not really. We were assigned work. LOL. But i went outside to slack. Ran into Jos, FY and Audrey so i joined them at the staircase until lessons ended, which was 3.05pm. LOL. Went for english paper review afterwards. Fucking sian. Regretted lah! Should have went for tuition instead. Cause today's session had that cute guy! ): awww. So wasted ):

The review session ended at around 5 plus. So long winded -.- also not much use anyway. Gah.

I am really pathetic. Idk how many times i have said this about myself alr. Sighh. Today, during break, we coincidentally sat at a table that provided me with a rather clear view of you. I was still okay. I was not really affected at that time.

But afterwards, i saw you outside your class. And all of a sudden i felt like something hit me in the stomach and i felt so sick and upset. This is so weird. So after that, all of a sudden, i miss you so much. I missed holding your hand. I missed you hugging me. I started thinking about our memories :/

Remember once when you were in my class during one of the breaks? You were at the front of my class. You told me to go to you, just so that you could tell me 'I love you'.

How about the time when we were just laying together on my sofa, and you told me not to leave you? That day, you whispered to me 'I love you' for the first time.

I feel silly, but i still have stupid hopes. I had a sudden wish today. As i was climbing up the stairs back home, i hoped that you could be outside my door waiting. And then you'd hug me and tell me that you were stupid and that you still loved me and you only left me because of... Something. Yeah, its a dumb wish, just a dream. Chances of it happening is like from 0% to 0%.

Oh my god, that was so stupid. But yeah, i'm just a silly girl who dreams and hope despite the apparent circumstances :/ stupid girl. But i just miss you so much all of a sudden. And then i would hope that maybe you still love me, but you had to leave me because of something. And then i would tell myself that no, its not possible. Because if you really loved me you would not hurt me like this. Definitely not. I guess. How paradoxical.

During the review session just now, i was bored out of my mind, and everyone was talking. So i zoned out and was immersed in my own thoughts. I ended up relieving memories of us. I kept flashing back to the last week we were together and i tried to think about what went wrong. That's when i realised that there's no way that you could still love me, because i remember someone telling me that the last week we were together, you seemed to find replying my texts irritating. So i'm irritating, and she's not. Yay.

Then i recalled the night you told me you wanted to break up. I remembered how i felt that night before you even said it. I remember how i cried out in anguish when i saw your text. Breaking up over text, seriously? You don't even have the guts to say it to me in person. Ha.

I remembered how i sobbed while replying you. My mind was in a whirl, i was trying to salvage the situation. No, i was trying to stay sane. I thought that my world was falling apart. It felt like I was falling apart. When i asked you why and you told me that you were unhappy. When you told me that your feelings for me were fading. You should have seen just how hard i cried. My entire body was shaking, i had trouble breathing. I felt like i was dying. It hurt so so so much. It came to the extent that it hurt so much that i had to do something to stop the pain, somehow, just relief myself of the pain. I wasn't thinking, my hands seemed to act on its own accord. But the physical pain on my wrist, oh man, i can't tell you how relieving it was. It took away the pain inside, just for as long as the physical pain lasted.

Then i recalled the last day we met. I saw again in my mind, your expression when you told me that you felt tied down. And i thought "You don't love me anymore. You didn't loved me." But now i'm still hoping that somehow you might still have... Fuck this. I don't wanna hope anymore. Somebody help me. Tell my heart to stop hoping!

I know, i am slowly letting go. It no longer hurts as much as it did from the start. But i am not sure if i want to let go. Because i know that when the day comes and i completely let go, i will, i know this for sure, start to hate him. When the day comes that i completely get over him, i will harbour dislike for him. And i don't really want that to happen :/

I find myself irritating seriously -.- sometimes i am all ready to forget you and start anew. And sometimes i go crazy inside and i wish that you could come back to me. Urghhhh. Damn it lah.

Okay, now i shall use my powerful willpower to will myself not to think of you! At least not for tonight. I need to do F&N. Hmmm. What are you doing now? LOL. I just told myself not to think about you, yet i'm wondering what you are doing. Wlao, facepalm siah. Hahahah. Okay, my promise officially commences. No more thinking about you for tonight.

Goodbye!

2011-07-25T23:12:00.001+08:00

I miss your hug all of a sudden. I need a hug now. And i want to be in your arms.

2011-07-25T22:15:00.003+08:00

~~Happy 6th month~~

LOL. What a joke. HAHAHAH. Its supposed to be our 6th month today. Do you still remember? Do you even think of me anymore? Ha. I doubt so. & i have a sudden thought, "Remember those 'I love you more' fights? Seems like i won." HA.

"Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but letting go is the most painful yet."

That was from twitter. But i find it totally related :/

Today was a rather bad day for me. I don't know why. I hate mondays -.- i found it really hard to smile today. Its like everything i do is laborious. So during the last two period, i was just lying there on my table, breathing and stoning. People walked past me and asked what's wrong. I just shrugged. I didn't feel like talking to people today. I feel bad, i never ignore people. But today i just had to. Hmmm :/

Fuck this. It feels like everything is going down down down. What i'm doing is not enough. What else do i have to do? My efforts seem to be in vain. Stop looking at me with that pitiful or reproachful expression. Its just a fucking F9. Stop talking like you know everything. You don't know how hard i worked. Well, seems like its not enough. Everything feels so fucked up. And i feel so alone. I realised that i didn't have anyone to talk to, not really. I don't have someone who i can tell everything and anything to. How pathetic. So i'm talking to myself here.

I don't know anything anymore. I feel like dying. Earlier on, during ss. I went to the toilet. Then i went to the corner outside the girls toilet and looked down. And i wondered how it would feel if i leaned just a little over? Just a little, and this pain would be gone.

Wrong wrong wrong. I am veena ang. And veena ang is not an emo girl. I must cheer up, i must smile. I gotta pretend that i'm fine. Its okay, its alright. By tomorrow, i will be smiling again.

Goodbye.

2011-07-24T21:54:00.002+08:00

So tired today.

Think i shall go complete ss after this post :/ ambiga's gonna be pissed if i didn't finish it. LOL

Went to loy's house today to teach him how to write his chinese compo. Wah, i feel so pro (Y) HAHAH. Then afterwards they dragged me along to find lowis. Urghh. Me lazyyyy. Reached home at 6pm. Went out for dinner again with mum and sist. I ate BBQ stingray, szechuan vege pork rib soup, and kope some of my sist's chicken cutlet :x oh my god. My stomach is still a huge ball even now ):

Looking at lowis and valerie made me think of you again. LOL. And i'm wondering what you're doing now. I want to know badly all of a sudden -.- but i can't text you. Because i promised myself that i won't ever again. Sighhhhh. I have given up on you. But i think that at a small corner in my heart, i'm still hoping that you'll realise that you still love me and come back to me. I find this very pathetic. Cause you threw me away, yet here i am, still hoping, despite how you made me seem so disposable. Urghhh.

I am pathetic man -.- my dad just talked to me. And he mentioned that tomorrow would be the 25th. And it gave me a jolt. I realised i still care rather much. Tsk. Its been 24days. Do you still think about me?

Goodbye.

2011-07-24T00:01:00.002+08:00

Dear diary.

Hahahah, kinda random. Cause i realised i treat my blog as my personal diary. Haha, i really need a place as an output for all my emotions and thoughts. If not i think i'd die :/ HAHAH

Some stupid guy emo -.- then he made me think of my sad stuff too ):

Recalling the last day. It was monday. The youth day holiday that we were gonna spend together. Just the week before you were complaining about not having enough time with me. All in a week's time, how is it that you can change so easily? Have a change of heart in the blink of an eye, in the flash of a light, snap of a finger. You changed your mind.

Now that monday, it was not the worst day of my life. Cause that saturday and sunday was worse. I finally calmed down by monday. I was totally confident that i wouldn't cry anymore! Guess i was wrong. HAHAH.

I wrote you a letter, and put it in the bag with your birthday present. I wonder how you felt when you read it. Indifference? Cause you don't seem to care anymore anyway. I wonder if you wore the shirt yet. Monday. 4th July 2011. We met up at 7-11. The usual spot. The place where we used to meet so many times before. Then we went up to ishimura together. Again, the same route, the same people. Yet the atmosphere was so different. We were walking together, yet not really together. There was a huge distance between us. My hands were shaking. I was looking down, because when i caught a whiff of your smell, the smell i loved, tears sprang to my eyes.

We reached ishimura. There were more people than usual. So we sat at a corner we haven't sat at before. It was quiet. I was shaking. Both inside and outside. I asked you some questions. Why? I got the answer. You felt tied down? So you want freedom? Oh okay. It became hard for me to talk, cause tears were choking up my throat. I looked down, i blinked away my tears. I continued asking. Then i passed you your present. I smiled. I told you that i got it for you long ago and i told you that your tie is inside too, and to open it when you get home.

So I stood up after that. Cause i didn't know how to handle this anymore, i just wanted to get away, away from this reality. I didn't want to face the reality. So we walked. I asked you for a favour. I asked if you could give me one last hug. You agreed. So we walked to find a more private place. Then we somehow ended up at the toilet near the library. I started tearing up again. Then you asked me if i needed to go to the toilet first. I smiled cause it was just so typical of you to ask that, and i said that i didn't drink water at all today, so i don't need the toilet. We laughed, and for a moment, it felt like everything was back to normal again. Then the atmosphere turned somber again.

We entered the child-mother-room. I looked at you. Then i stepped forward to hug you. At that instant, i started crying. Sobbing. Hot, thick tears were gushing out. They soaked your black shirt. The one i liked because it absorbs your smell. Your smell. I buried my face in your chest and took deep breaths, attempting to preserve the smell of you as best as i could in my memory. I hugged you tight. Tracing your back, trying to remember every curve and contour of your back, trying to preserve the memory of it.

Then i broke away from you. I couldn't take it anymore. I calmed myself down, and took some tissue to wipe away my tears. I looked up at you and apologised. Then, when i could finally speak again, i asked, "So after graduation, i won't ever see you again?" & you nod. Tears welled up again. Cause i didn't want this, i don't want to never get to see you again. But i could only nod and say okay.

My legs were starting to feel like jelly, and i really needed support. I laughed, shakily, and asked for another hug. I knew that my eyes were red-rimmed and probably ugly like fuck. And i didn't want to let you see me in tears, especially when i was the one who wanted to meet to say goodbye. But fuck this, i can't control my emotions that well. After that, we walked out. Some people were staring, but who the fuck cares? HAHAH.

Then you asked if i wanted to take the lift. I almost cracked up. You were still as lazy as ever. So we took the lift. And it was awkward. Cause in the past, we used to stand in the corner of the lift together, and you'd hug me or something, to prevent me from getting squeezed. With you, nobody could even touch me. But that day, we stood side by side, not quite together, yet we were standing together. We got out, we walked to the opening to the bus interchange. You asked what bus i was gonna take. I answered that i was meeting my friend here, cause i need to get rid of your texts, and i couldn't manage it alone. I should have just taken the bus with you. It was the last time anyway. I started to tear up again. We stood there awkwardly outside the jewelry shop. You looked at me and told me not to cry. Worse still, you touched my face, you wiped away my tears and asked me not to cry anymore. Donn't you know that would make me cry harder?

So we said goodbye. And you left. I watched you walk away from me. I couldn't breathe. I was too deep in misery. I couldn't breathe. I started walking towards the escalator. I took out my phone to call val. By now i can't see what was in front of me, couldn't see the screen of my phone. Tears were obstructing my vision, i looked down and walk. But i had to stop after a few steps, because i couldn't control it anymore. Sobs were escaping, and i let them. I leaned against the wall just outside of the other building, and sobbed, big heaving sobs that shook my body. I had to bend down, because i was crying so much my whole body went soft. I dialed for val, and she picked up. She told me where she was. It took all of my self control to stood up, and i walked to the escalator. I was still crying as i walked. Then I met her on the 2nd floor. I couldn't read her expression, was it shock? Was it sadness? I have no idea.

But i am really thankful to her for being there for me. If i were alone, idk what i would have done. Honestly i have to thank all my friends, they were the reason i could make it so far <3

After that, we bought food, and went to val's house. Jos joined us afterwards and we watched harry potter part 1 together. Before we watched the movie, i started the tedious mission of deleting my inbox messages. I cried all the way. I have no idea how long it took me to finish deleting all of them. I only know that i started crying again after reading some of your old texts. And then after all of them were gone, it was time for the true goodbye. The saved messages of yours. There was one text where you sent me, how many was it? Dozens of "I love you"s. And then there was this super long text that you sent me for our 4th month. Yeah, i couldn't delete them. My friend deleted them for me. I cried again. I cried so much that i lost my voice and had a blocked and runny nose. Pathetic -.-

Now, after that are all irrelevant details. You telling me that you kinda miss me is irrelevant too. You threw me away, don't tell me such stuff, you're only giving me false hope.

And then there was your birthday. The way you replied thank you to my wish like i was just any other person. But that's right, i ain't anyone special to you anymore. I was just someone you knew. That night, under the encouragement of my friends, i decided to ask just one last time, if you still loved me, even if its just a tiny bit. You told me no. Not even a tiny bit.

I was on the phone with my best friend when you said that. I didn't cry. I was just shocked by how fast you could forget me, lose your feelings for me. That is, if you can even lose "love". I believe that once you love, you can't take it back. No matter what, a small part of you, or even a big part, will still care. Cause true love does not fade completely. So i am left to wonder, your love for me, was it even real? So i laughed and told my friend, "He says there's nothing left. Is that even possible?" He told me not to cry. But i wasn't crying, i was speechless from shock, bewilderment, disappointment and even a tiny bit disgusted.

Next thing i know, i found out that you were texting girls. Even though you told me you don't like to text. Haha, yeah i'm listening. Tell me more of those excuses? Ha.

You broke up with me right before my prelims, how considerate you are. LOL. I tried my best to study. Oh well. Breaking up before my prelims was a pretty good plan, cause i wouldn't get to see you at all during my prelims. After that long break though, it was back to normal school. I would have to walk by your class to get to my class. Oh man.

After a long time of not having normal lessons, we were back to our normal timetable. That day, i was outside 4F during our break time. I saw you walking out. We had eye contact. You didn't look away. So i looked away. What the hell are you doing? Tears welled up after i turned away. It isn't easy.

The next day was easier. I don't cry anymore. But still, what the hell are you trying to do by looking at me? Since you don't care anymore, stop looking please.

As the days go by, i started having more fun. I realised that i didn't need you after all. I had such awesome fun with my friends. And i realised that us breaking up, perhaps its best for the both of us.

And this is me, saying goodbye. I have accepted the fact that you threw me away, that you don't love me anymore, that you don't care anymore, that you and i are now complete strangers.

Okay, I shall end off this emo post with a smiley :D HEEHEE.

Goodnight! (:

2011-07-23T18:46:00.004+08:00

Tired ttm ):

Went out just now to bring my sist to my mum at toa payoh cause my mum works there. She wants to go to grandma's house but idw cause i'm too tired :/ so i brought my sist to her lor. Then, i took the wrong train -.- somemore reached somerset then i realised. Total FML man. Tsktsk! So i ended up reaching home about just before six -.-

To make matters worse, there's this group of people setting up chairs and speakers at the shelter right beside my block (right outside my window). Apparently they're holding a birthday party for some kid.. Oh my god. So noisy! ):

So here i am, with my earpiece plugged in :D AHAHA.

I realised that i am a weird person ): i like pain. Or more specifically, i like the pain from menses cramp. LOL. This month's menses came and went with no pain at all!! ):

LOL. Man, i'm weird.

On the way home on the MRT just now, when the train was travelling from yio chu kang to khatib, the scenery triggered a memory. Suddenly remember how i hugged you so tightly because i didn't want you to go. But you left in the end anyway didn't you? Hahahahahah.

I'm not entirely sure how i feel right now. Its like i'm over him, yet i'm not yet o.o ahhh weirdest feeling ever. When i see him, i feel this weird feeling. Idk how to describe it. Urghh.

Its like, i know i am living better without him. I know that our relationship wasn't right, i know now that it wouldn't have worked out anyway. But i still miss him sometimes, and a small part of me still wants him back. Cause its not easy to find someone with that connection, the way we connected, its unlike any other. One of a kind. You were unlike any other. You were the first one i truly gave my heart to.

I wonder if you still come to my blog. You used to go to my blog randomly when you were bored. But i doubt so, cause i doubt you even think of me anymore. Seeing as you could stop loving me so abruptly, so rapidly, so quickly. I guess you weren't serious at all. I guess i was wrong in trusting you.

Your excuses. You said you didn't like to text. But you can text her. So you were just bored, sick and tired of me? Is that why you threw me away? Am i that disposable huh? You, the idiot who promised to protect me for the rest of my life.

But i know now, that it was all wrong. It started too fast, it progressed too fast, and thus it ended. I know now, that you should never ever jump into a relationship. Never give your everything too soon. Cause you will end up getting hurt. I guess that is why many girls find it hard to trust guys. Cause they must have experienced what i experienced too, giving everything and then getting thrown away :/

I've always felt that i am too trusting, too naive perhaps. I trust people over and over again, even though i have been hurt before. And its just funny the way i get hurt, trust again, then get hurt again. Its like a vicious cycle, and i'm not doing anything to protect myself :/

Oh well. Right now i'm just waiting for my prince charming :D waiting for someone who would not hurt me. Okay, that is impossible. But i am waiting for a guy, who wants to protect me, and treats me like i'm his everything :D one who would make time in order to be with me on his own accord, one who would also be my best friend! One who would know everything about me, all my dirty secrets and stupid habits, and still love me the way i am :D AHAHA.

Where are you my prince? HAHAH.

Aiyoyoooh. Well, i'm still young. Still have plenty of time to meet good guys :D meanwhile, i am happy with being single. Love all my girlfriends and guy friends <3 heehee. You don't need to have a boyf to have fun! Friends are much more fun :D

Lets hope i'll meet someone awesome soon. HEEHEE.

Anyway, going to my best friend's house tml to teach him chinese! Wah, paper 1 and paper 2. Urghhh, i hate chinese ):

Okay, shall end this here. Bye! (:

2011-07-23T13:00:00.001+08:00

Hellooooo!

Yesterday was such an enjoyable day with adeline, val, regina, hengcheng and bryan :D omg.

Heehee.

Hmm, lets see. Today, after school, i rushed home with adeline. After bathing and blowing dry my hair, i'm finally ready to go out! :D was late by 15mins with adeline though. Was supposed to meet them at 2.30. LOL. Oh well, there were people who were later. HAHA

Met up with hengcheng and val at mac. Then moved to wendy's to eat. Bryan met us there! It was funny the way we paid the full amount all in coins. Hahaha, the cashier must hate us :/ LOL.

So afterwards we took the MRT to somerset to walk to cineleisure. Did not know how to reach there, so we depended on bryan's iphone, which was redundant seeing as none of us know how to read maps. HAHAH. So we just followed our instincts.

Reached there and bought our tickets after much walking around and stopping to play kartrider :/ LOL. We wanted to watch the 3.50 show, but missed it cause we took too much time to eat! Then we opted for the 5pm show, but there wasn't any. So we opted for the 5.50 one, but there were only separate seats left ): so we ended up watching the 6pm show. Meaning it'd end at like 8pm :/ sooooo late lor!

So while waiting for regina to arrive, and waiting for 6pm, we walked to 7-11 cause bryan was kinda hungry. LOL. We went to the arcade, and got caught on camera-tv. Laughed so hard man. I seriously haven't laughed so much in a day since idk when. HAHAH.

We took lots and lots of photos :D heehee. Totally awesome day. So many funny stuff. LOL. I laughed until my jaws and cheeks ache!

So, the two guys, being the genius that they were, didn't bring a jacket along. LOL. They ended up frozen. Hahahahah, went for NEOPRINTS after that. Been so many years since i took one :D heehee! We had so much fun taking them. So damn ganchiong! Cause we only had limited time to take the photos and to decorate them :/ HAHAH. Squeezing 6 people in isn't easy okay! But it was really fun ;p and funny too. LOL

I love the neoprints :D but they're tiny ): seeing as we gotta split them among six people. LOL. So after that we went for dinner at graffiti cafe. Pontian wanton noodles <3 heehee! Had fun "vandalising" the cafe. Wrote and drew many many stuff. Started camwhoring after we left the cafe. Did our camwhoring outside the cafe, in the middle of all the shops :x kinda embarrassing cause everyone was looking. We were making a great deal of noise :/ HAHAH.

Took many candid shots. Awesome funny day :D

Walked to 313. Wanted to take a group photo, but no one seems free enough :x so we ended up taking a group photo via mirror reflection. HAHAHA. After that final shot we finally walked to the MRT. Took the rebound train in order to secure seats. Didn't want to take up an entire row, so we sat opposite each other, 3-3. LOL. I sat in between HC and B.L. while the rest sat opposite us. They gave up their seats for some old people soon after though. LOL. I didn't get the chance to give up my seat!

The stupid train terminated at yishun -.- so HC, val and regina got off at khatib while me, adeline and B.L waited at yishun for the next train. But we couldn't get on the next train cause there were too many people ): so we waited for the next train.. Which terminated at yishun too -.- so we had to wait for the next. And that is the reason why i reached home at nearly midnight!! Forgot to tell my dad about this, so yuan wang D:

So B.L and i alighted at admiralty, while adeline went to woodlands to take bus home. B.L is so kind! Accompanied me to wait for my bus while we crapped (: HAHAH. My bus finally came after about 10-15mins. So i went homeeee :D

Such a tiring yet fun and enjoyable day! I slept after 2AM though ): cause somebody keep distracting me! Keep webcaming with me :/ HAHAH. Stupid boy. Show off ;p

Now, today! I woke up at 12PM :D 10hours of sleep. Heehee! I was contemplating if i should try baking pasta or just cook instant noodles. But with the many encouragements from my friends, i shall bake pasta :D just kinda worried cause i don't have the right kind of cheese :x hmmmm. Ah well. I shall just try :D

Okay, bye!

2011-07-21T18:23:00.002+08:00

I will be okay.

Thought i couldn't live without you

Its gonna hurt when it heals too.

But it'll get better in time.

Even though i really loved you

Gonna smile cause i deserve to

Since there's no more you and me
Its time i let you go so i can be free
No matter how hard it is
I will be fine without you
Yes i will be.

-Better in time

I love that song! :D

Today was RACIAL HARMONY DAY! & the happiest day of my life :D ehehehe.

Woke up at 5.45am today! Cause i met baobao earlier in order to reach school earlier to change into our ethnic costumes and tie our hair :x heehee. It was fun, us girls all squeezed in the toilet, chatting and exclaiming over costumes and hairstyles and whatnot. I'll miss this atmosphere :/

Arrived at the parade square late from the toilet. LOL. Kenneth ng sure was pissed. Hahahahhah. Oh well, just a few more months and we'll be gone! Forever! Leaving chung cheng alr ): omg.

Anyway, the scene that greeted us when we reached the parade square was rather pleasant. A lot of people wearing costumes :D Majority of those wearing ethnic costumes are sec 4s and 5s of course. LOL. I felt giggly and high almost throughout the day. Heehee!

So we were dismissed for the concert! Kinda lame, only about 45mins ): but jiafan did well. Auntie lucy! :D hahahah. Next was chinese, free period, regardless of whether yu lan was actually there or not. LOL. So we practically camwhored all the way!Then next was physics practical. Went to the lab. Ahh pekchek die. The experiment just won't go smoothly -.- anyway, rushed through it then went down for recess. Ate sambal fish :D

I think i'm really getting better. He sat a table away from me, directly facing me, while i was eating. I was quite alright. I don't know what i am feeling right now. LOL. Its a weird feeling i can't describe, but i'm guessing i'm in the process of getting over him :D clap for me!

I really love my costume. Its sooooo chio :D I love my dress, love my scarf. The only down point is the pants :/ it has to be tied, meaning every time i go to the toilet, i need to spend a lot of time untying and tying it ._. tsk tsk.

So, after recess was two periods of F&N! Did an essay question for 1 period, then spent the next talking. Mdm pan opened the ITR room for us :x heehee, she's totally awesome. She gave us girls hair bands with ribbons too! Omg <3

Next was LUNCH! The best time of all :D spent the entire lunch taking photos with people. Heehee, my favourite photo is the "awkward penguins" one :x heehee. I'm so glad my friend asked him to take a photo with me. AHAHAHAHA. Omg, i couldn't stop giggling over this for the rest of the day. Ahh, so happy. LOL.

I have a few potential display photos :D all so chio, how to choose?! LOL.

So overall, it was a really fun day. It felt like the best day of my life seriously :D

Okay, i shall stop here and go take the nap i have promised myself 3hours ago :x LOL.

Goodnight! ;p

2011-07-18T22:13:00.002+08:00

"We are two strangers who know every shameful secret, every hidden freckle, every fatal flaw in each other." -Jodi Picoult

How very relevant. We are no more than strangers now. Yet, i know your secrets, i know every freckle on your face, every mole on you. Familiar strangers.

We were once so happy. I can still remember your warmth. The way you held my hands and it fits so nice, it just seems so right. The way you'd kiss me on my forehead and cheeks, then look at me with that expression, like i was everything to you.The way you'd hug me from behind, and i'd feel so protected and safe. I didn't know that the one i should be protected from is you.

Today was a weird day :/ i woke up from a dream. Of me and him. Eeeek. It is weird because i went to sleep thinking of someone else, yet i dreamt about him. Yikes. It felt so real... I almost thought it was reality. It was only a few moments after i woke up did i realised it was only just a dream. It was so real, it was like i could feel him right beside me, the warmth seemed so real..

Ah well. Sian day. Woke up, washed clothes, watch a movie while having lunch. Then went for tuition! Then came back, bathed, ate my dinner while watching another movie! I'm a x-men freak now. I'm watching all the x-men movies ;p hehehe. Forgot i hadn't hung the clothes, so went to hang them. Then realised i haven't iron my uniform either ): so went to iron. Tired man. Now gotta go and study for phy and chem paper 1 tomorrow!

Okay, bye!

2011-07-17T09:45:00.002+08:00

Okay so i'm back :/

Twitter can't be accessed! ): i feel so sad! So so soooooooooo sad D: how can you do this to me? I can access it using my phone though. But its different! ): sighhh.

Oh well, i shall say all my crap here instead. Seems like i'm irritating people cause i'm kinda spamming on twitter. Hmm ._. but it was their choice to follow me what. If you don't like, you can always unfollow me ._.

Oh, lost track of what i wanted to say. Distracted by my own smell. LOL. Too fragrant. Hahahahah! I smell kinda milky, and.. I don't know how to describe. I just smell so god damn nice o.o okay, i should stop smelling myself like a stupid pervert. HAHAH.

Okay, so i finally accessed twitter after following some suggestions :D gotta love your friends man. LOL. Gonna go download some stuff. Oh man. How to transfer songs from my comp to my laptop? ._. Argh, so mafan. Shall go cook something then watch a movie on my laptop later :D ahhh, shiok. HEEHEE.

Ends here!

2011-07-17T09:21:00.002+08:00

Good morning!

Such a beautiful sunday morning. Teehee. I have a laptop of my own now! Currently holed up in my room using my laptop. Feel so self sufficient. Muahaha. Don't have to exit my room to use the comp anymore! Any projects or coursework i have i'll use my very own laptop, in my own room :D heehee! My dad is talking about getting me mobile connection too. Oh my god, i am such a lucky kid (':

Okay i sound like a kid. LOL. Oh well, its a beautiful morning. I woke up with curly-wavy hair. Preeeeety siah! Hahahah, i like!! :D TEEHEE. There's no school tml. I FEEL GREAT! Like awesome only! Shall sneak out to watch movie and walk walk! But only got val leh. So sian. Maybe should get jk and loy to come along? LOL.

Its so weird. Today is my 2nd day alr. Yet i feel no pain, no cramps o.o Usually i'd get them even before it comes, signalling me its coming. LOL. So its really weird the way i can't feel anything right now. Maybe god has taken away my sense of pain, seeing that i've alrd suffered from enough pain ): HAHAH.

Anyway, i have a samsung phone, samsung laptop.. What next? LOL. I hear the clicking of my nails on my keyboard and i gotta admit it sounds so damn nice. Heehee.

Ahhhh so sian. I can't access twitter! ): wth is wrong? ): ): ): nvm i shall stop my post here.

Byeeee! :D

2011-07-16T10:29:00.003+08:00

Its a saturday!

Long awaited break :/ been studying like mad the past week. Staying up way past 1AM to study. Oh my god. Can't believe i actually have that hardworking streak in me :D teehee!

I didn't go for study session today. Too tired alrd :/ tuition at 3 later. Gonna meet valval for lunch later! Heehee, i want fries :D

I really like megan nicole's cover of who says! Sooo awesome man. Alright, nothing else to say. Shall return to tumblring, twitter and youtube :D

Thats all!

2011-07-14T20:00:00.002+08:00

Today is a boring and meaningless day.

Today was the literature paper. The date was printed on the cover page so damn clear ._. Sianed when i saw it. Anyway, 1h and 40min paper. Spent the first 10mins daydreaming and slowly reading all the passages. Then spent the remaining time rushing like mad. Should refrain from doing that next time -.- lucky the teacher forgot to collect the paper :P so we had like 3 extra mins. LOL. Enough for me to write one more paragraph. Hehehe.

Alright, going for good food now.

Heh, byebye!

2011-07-12T19:46:00.002+08:00

So tired of everything.

Today was my emath and physics paper. Studied so hard, and almost next to none of what i studied came out. Yay. I hope i can pass them. Emath paper was rather easy, just some complications and i forgot some stuff. Gotta practice more!

This morning was the worse part. Saw his friends. I just looked away and walked straight into my class. Best thing? His class is right beside mine. Hard not to see -.- so i have to resist the urge to look too. It hurts when i don't look. But it hurts when i look too ._. Fuck this. Oh well, not looking is better. I won't think as much, and hopefully it'll aid me along in getting over him.

Honestly, my brain knows that he isn't right for me. But my heart still doesn't seem to want to agree -.- having a battle with my heart now. Hahahah.

Its stupid, during physics, i almost just left everything blank. Because somehow the memories just wouldn't go away. It kept flashing non stop through my mind. Those intimate memories ._. So i slapped and pinched myself.

Okay fuck. Think i'm receiving bad news. No mood now.

Bye.

2011-07-10T17:39:00.002+08:00

Uh oh.

I was just looking at my files when i came upon these photos of you i forgot i had. Remember them? Those photos we took in woodlands library with my sist's phone. Remember how you hugged me from behind while i chose books? Remember how you'd help to hold my books for me? Damn. All those memories came flooding back when i chance upon those photos. Eek.

I went to watch the english subbed vid of G.NA's "i'll back off so you can live better". It completely fits my situation and what i'm thinking right now ._. G.NA's "i miss you already" also!

When my friend told me that his english oral is tml, i felt like it sounded familiar. Then i realised its because your oral is tml too. Yikes. Will be teaching my friend over the phone on how to tackle oral. Kinda wish its you instead. Ahh well.

I wonder how long it's gonna take me to get over you.

Shall go bathe now. Harry potter is showing on channel 5! (: heehee.

Byeeee!

2011-07-10T11:29:00.002+08:00

Happy 16th birthday to my baobao! <3

Today is sunday! I gotta wash the clothes, do my baobao's card, & revise for stupid poa ): ahhhhhhh. Sian ah! I am soooo lazy D:

Lazy pig. Heehee. Okay, i am bored. Shall go do something else :D

Byeeeee!

2011-07-09T21:32:00.002+08:00

Hellooooo! :D

Just came home not long ago. LOL. Today was quite fun. Went to meet friend after tuition. Slack at bball court. Hahahah. Laughed alot (:

Tomorrow is sunday. Adeline's birthday! Wah. But i very lazy go out D: Plus never ask father. Hmmmmmmmm. LOL.

Okay, shall stop here (:

P.S. The number of times i thought of him decreased! (Y) hehehe.

Byebyeeee!

2011-07-09T13:10:00.003+08:00

"You're the most important person in my life." You liar.

I wonder what is wrong with me D: these few days i keep stuffing myself with food ): i spent $10 on ONE meal today! Oh my god. I'm gaining weight. GG liao!

I didn't sleep well. Was woken by my dad's irritating alarm which clank so loudly it sound like it was right by my ear though my door was shut -.- URGH. I yelled in frustration and grabbed my pillow and pressed it against my ear. & i fell asleep that way. LOL. Until my alarm rang at 7.07am ): dragged myself out of bed.... Went for study session at wendy's. Was not really productive since i zoned out.. Hmmm.

Very tired now. Shall go take a nap before waking up to read chem. Tuition at 5pm ):

Night night!

2011-07-08T21:53:00.002+08:00

Today was tiring ): as usual.

Failed to wake up at 5am. LOL. Didn't even heard my alarm. Epic fail siah. Ended up waking up at 6am. Eeeks. Went to school, had SS paper, had a huge breakfast-lunch, went home to sleep for about an hour before setting out for tuition! Had tuition from 2-4pm, went to northpoint to meet my baobao! Walked around with baobao, anisha and val. Laughed so much. Hahahah. Latisha & boiboi ftw man (Y)

Couldn't decide between kimchi fried rice or sushi. So i bought both! O: gg.com lah. Confirm fat die ): i regret buying the kimchi fried rice. Think i ate it too often alr, it tasted kinda disgusting on my 3rd mouthful. LOL.

Hmmm, today was a good day. I didn't think of him as much! :D but it was kinda inevitable cause i walked through admiralty park just now :/ so many memories there. Damn ._.

So i did some physics during night study just now! Not bad, considering i hardly get any work done at home. Hahahah. There's study session tml at wendy's as usual at 8am. Meaning i gotta get up at 7am D: as usual. LOL. Ahh well. At least my tuition's at 5pm. I have time to go home to sleep! :D

Okay, i am really stinky right now :/ just reached home not long ago only! Hehehe, shall go bathe now.

Byebye!

2011-07-08T11:37:00.003+08:00

Heyooooooo.

Today was my prelim SS paper D: I completely screwed it up. What the hell was i doing!? I couldn't remember much for venice (actually, only 1 or 2 LOL) so i just anyhow bomb. Just write what i think it might be about. Hahahahahahah so funny.

Was surprised i could concentrate on my paper. Considering that i slept for around 4 hours only. LOL. Didn't intend to sleep at all actually, wanted to stay up to memorize the venice template ._. but i got bored and started feeling tired after my friend got off the phone with me. Ahh, talking about him, i am really grateful to him for talking to me ytd night. Cheered me up plenty, i laughed so much :D and also gave me the resolution to get over him. Hehe.

This morning, was busy trying to recall my SBQ skills. LOL. Then my mind drifted and i looked to see where he is. Couldn't spot him. Ohh well, nvm (: its not like i need him anyway. I just need to stop wanting him. LOL.

Last night, cried as we were leaving after the night study. I was so stressed up because i couldn't memorize a single fucking thing, and i missed him alot :/ so last night i texted him. Somehow in the end, i ended up getting pissed and flung quite abit of angry nonsense at him. And he didn't reply. LOL. I wonder if he's angry, sad or just bochap. Hahahaha, ah well. I won't text him anymore. With the exception of his birthday!

Which reminds me that Calvin's birthday is coming soon too! o.o Amazing memory i have :D

Alright, i shall go take a 1 hour nap now before i gotta wake up for my tuition ): i didn't do her hw. Fuck. I am so dead. LOL. Ahhhhhh.

Goodnight! Hahahah.

2011-07-07T21:47:00.001+08:00

I cannot do this anymore. I want to just die.

I want you to miss me enough to text me. Cause i'm still hoping so much that you'll return to me.

I'm dying a little more everyday. At this rate, idk if i can make it.

2011-07-07T15:53:00.006+08:00

Lalala~ English exams caused my hand to hurt sooo much D: finger pain pain ):

Hmmmm, i think i might fail english. Like srsly wtf manxzz. Difficult ttfm! So today we finished our first paper at like before 10am. Lol! We had 1 hour before our next paper. Relaaaaax man! Saw his friends at the canteen, i was hoping to see him too. After so much i still yearn to see him. I hate myself, i should be getting over him, should be hating him or something, but 我做不到. Sigh. Walked past his class to get to canteen and to get back to class. He look kinda sad. Hmmmm.

I hate myself. Because i know i'd be willing to take him back without a word. & i hate the feeling that he can throw me away so easily, as though i was just a used toy, but i'd still go crawling back to him despite everything. I am so pathetic. Srsly. I hate myself.

I hate myself. I rushed for assembly this morning. Why? Because i secretly wanted to see him. Shhhh. All my friends tell me to stop looking at him, stop caring, stop thinking of him, stop wishing for him, start letting him go, and maybe even get someone new. I nod, i smile and say
"Sure! I can do it!". But honestly, i can't do it. Its like, he was everything i ever wanted. He came into my life, and everything was perfect. Until he left. And now there's this huge gaping hole in the core of my heart and mind.

Yes. I miss you. I miss the way you walk beside me, our fingers inter-clasping while we talk and laugh about nothing whatsoever. I miss the way you'd help me wipe away my perspiration. I miss your smile, i miss your laughter, i miss your childish antics. I miss your hugs, i miss the feel of your leg against mine when we sit side by side. I love the way you'd look at me, and i'd ask what you're looking at, and you'd say you're looking at your laopo. I miss the way you told me you love me. I miss the way we'd always hug, and then you'd kiss my cheeks and my forehead before you leave. I miss the way we'd hug and you'd hug me tighter. I miss the way you'd wipe away my tears and tell me not to cry, because you hate to see me cry. But you're no longer here to wipe away my tears. & i think you don't care either.

I can smile, i can laugh like mad with my friends. Yes, i have awesome friends who can make me laugh so much and so hard that i can barely breathe. But at the end, i always end up thinking of him again. Does he think of me? Does he miss me the way i miss him? Is he happier? Is he okay? What is he doing now? I worry for him. I feel like texting him. But fear his cold response. Fear that he would hurt me even more.

I am afraid of seeming weak and pathetic. I want to talk to him, but it would make me look so desperate, pathetic. Sighhh. I didn't count the number of cuts on my wrist initially. But yesterday i counted the scars left, ten. Today i counted again, nine. Will one fade everyday? Lol! Looking at them just reminds me of the pain i felt. Honestly, it broke me. & it hurt so god damn much i had to do something to take away the pain, to relieve myself of it somehow.

& i am so disgusted by myself. Why is it that i let myself care so much for someone who obviously doesn't even give a damn about me? Why am i hurting myself over someone who obviously doesn't care about me? If he really loved me, he wouldn't choose to hurt me so. You said your feelings are fading. You liar. Its either you love me, or you never did. & if you did not love me, why did you take everything from me? Dude, srsly. Sigh.

Ahh well enough of the emo stuff! Hope no one i know will read them. LOL

Anyway, i love 2PM's just like the movies! The lyrics really match how i feel right now. Hahahahah! Aiyoyoyo, i gotta be happy. Gotta concentrate, gotta study! I feel kinda tempted to go to JC. But i alr dropped HCL! Like so lang fei ): ahhhh. Nvm, i shall just settle for SP or NP bah (:

Ah fuck. Stupid mozzie D: Bite me so many times! Eeeeek ):

& i just realised i don't have globalisation template. Venice one also -.- AHH. FML.

Okay, i shall stop here! Have one more hour before i'm going for night study! o.o

Byeeee!

2011-07-06T22:51:00.003+08:00

Been really long since i posted here. So many things has changed. My prelim exams are tomorrow.

Yet i'm here blogging, because i need somewhere to vent. And i'm pretty sure no one comes here anymore. So yeah (:

So many things changed. First of july was the worse night of my life. I didn't get to sleep that night. Crying so much really sapped my energy. Didn't have any appetite either. The next day was a torture cause i had study session at 8am, then SS supp at 10.30am, then tuition from 5-7pm ): i almost died.

Ohh well. At least the one good thing that came out of this is that i lost weight. Heheheheh. I was 45kg before, and now i'm 43kg. Wooooo! Can't believe i was nearly 50kg last year. Awesome weight losing method man! All you have to do is to go fall in love without a care and then get thrown away. That helps in weight loss.

My denim shorts are sooooo loose now ): and they're my favourite pair of shorts D: i just bought them this year only! Hmmph. Seems like i gotta go shopping for new shorts! /:@

Okay, gotta go sleep now! Tomorrow is english prelim exam! Shitxzz maaaan! I still haven't gone and revise the format for letters :/ and read some books for inspiration. Lol! Oh, well. I got to focus from tomorrow onwards. Can't let this thing cause me my o levels. Hmmmmm.

I feel so so so empty. I miss you.

Goodnight sweet dreams.

I love you dear.

2011-03-04T22:19:00.003+08:00

I'm bored.

CTs are finally over. Had F&N paper today. GG. I forgot to study 2 important questions. Sigh D: everything is bad.

Everything feels screwed up.